the big 4

 So........I'm 40 today........😂 It feels so funny saying that out loud coz......I'll be honest, I never expected to live this long.......also.......I feel like I am still the teenager who is still so eager and curious about so many things. I've been trying to do as many new things as possible in the last couple of years. It's like me trying to fulfill my bucket list.....sort of. So far, I think I've done quite a lot. I still have a lot more things to try and learn.

I decided to slow down on working out too much. In fact, I haven't been doing so much HIIT workouts as I used to do. Not anymore. I think I'm gonna start doing more cardio. I've also been learning a lot of digital art in the last couple of months. I've been trying to learn coding but I think I need to clear up my head space for that.

Oh yeah, I've been writing a lot. Songs mostly. It's so liberating to be able to write songs again after so long. I started a Japanese music channel too called Eternal Hearts........coz......me and Japanese had always been inseparable.......So, Designated Chaos is my main channel and I have Eternal Hearts on the side. It's not as well received as Designated Chaos coz of the language, I think......but it doesn't matter. Not everyone listens to every music genre out there anyways.

I need to finish up at least 2 of my books.........coz I haven't been in the right headspace..........I need to get my ass into the sea coz I think it's been a hot minute since we last had an island trip. The last monsoon season sucked coz it barely rained. We were expecting a lot more rain pour but......oh well.....

This morning, Shu got me the wrap I have recently began liking from Family Mart and we spent the morning having coffee and breakfast by the beach. I wouldn't have it any other way. 

had to be done

 

I had to do it. I always wanted to do it and it didn't fit Designated Chaos so.....here is Eternal Hearts......❤️

so......I have come to terms with this.......

 I need to get myself straightened out and get my shit together. I keep having to remind myself why I started writing and writing songs and doing art. I was doing it all because I really like doing it. It's about the satisfaction of creating and being creative, whatever form it may be.

I can't please everyone and it's not always about views or numbers. It's nice to be discovered because it just shows that maybe there are people out there who understands me and what I make or create but.....for the most part.....it's basically the satisfaction of just creating. 

Also, I am not entirely here most of the time........I mean.......I am always thinking about something and then, I end up adding more things in my list of things I wanna learn or do. That is usually how my bucket list continues......like it's never-ending. I am just lucky that I have time, with that, I try to use my time to keep learning and being creative.......I just think that everything else would be a waste of time.....

I am not getting any younger and with whatever time I have left, I really feel like there is just so much to learn and discover in this world. Also, I am constantly trying to keep up with my 3 kids. They are growing up fast and their time is definitely not like mine when I was their age.

They have access to all the things I never had back when I was a kid and their vocabulary is just so out there that I keep having to ask Shu or Google the things they say. It's like living in an entirely different century 😂

just gonna post it here......

 I've been working on Designated Chaos for a while now.........I started the channel slightly over a month ago.....on YouTube...... Designated Chaos YouTube 

I've been writing songs and there's a whole bunch of songs there......Youtube is a whole different world and despite having the same issues I've been having from being a songwriter for so many years already, we still have the whole distributor and monetization problems......I managed to get the ISRC sorted out to my songs have copyrights now but......marketing is something I am still learning to do......

It's been a lot of analytics and algorithms........just a lot of numbers to work with.....but I try to keep it light......I have some goals I need to meet this year anyway so I can't really just lose myself completely to Designated Chaos........

I hope people like what I've put out and I hope it makes people happy just listening to the music ❤️

unpredictability

 I kinda like how the weather forecast is inaccurate these days. It keeps us on our toes. We don't know what's really gonna happen and we can't rely on forecasts. I like it. We just have to be more aware of our surroundings and environment.

On a different note, Shu and I had this discussion some weeks ago about AI and robots. He was telling me about a company that is developing a physical robot with AI assist mode that you can programme and curate to whatever you want it to be. I told him I liked the idea coz let's say, you are someone who's been married for so long and then, your spouse dies.......I am definitely not the type to go out there and try dating again just for company. I'd rather have a robot I've programmed to be whatever I want to keep me company.

Shu hates it coz it would ruin the memory of your spouse and it's just gonna be predictable. That's just the beauty of AI and robots. You programme it. You run the show. You don't like it, you can just reset it. I don't see it as a way to replace your spouse. It's more like just a way to keep you company without the hassle of having another human. People have too many needs and wants and is sometimes too complicated to put up with. Something that you can programme and reset is much more manageable. Besides, you just need something or someone to respond to you, not an actual person who is gonna replace someone you lost.

I know, Black Mirror shit.......

Speaking of humans being such a waste of time and money, we were recently talking about not having people who work just to get salary at the end of the month. They won't progress and they won't do their jobs properly despite having signed a contract. Hell, they won't even give it a 100% when they are at work and you definitely cannot expect them to give a 110% at any time. They don't give a shit about you and your company. They just know that they're gonna get their salary at the end of the month. It's a huge failed system. They need to be paid very minimal and everything else that they earn is based on commissions. That way, they will strive to do better.

Of course, you won't have such problems with robots and AI. They would do as they are programmed unless they are corrupt and not function properly anymore.

I am so done living a life whereby I'm paying so much for services I never get. It's just a fucking rip off and scam. I refuse to spend money on shit I ain't getting.

😂

 So.....I decided to make a thing........

it was just supposed to be like a practice thingy.....refreshing something old......

I feel like people are just confused and this needs to be addressed properly

 I always get asked if my area or my house is flooded coz I have no idea what shit the news is broadcasting throughout the country about the weather.

I live on the sunny side up area of the beach. If we did get a lot of water it would have been from the waves crashing so hard or the rain water accumulating from long hours of rain. The actual flooding happens upstream and the river areas. Water comes gushing down from the mountains and down the rivers. And if you live in town or the city area where water flow always suck.

Erm......upstream is up the river.........downstream is where the water flows down and out into the sea......Does that make sense for everyone?