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Tuesday, January 25, 2022

I dance as I'm falling.........

 But I never touch the ground.......

It's been a long while since I checked back into this dimension. My mind has not been able to focus on anything,really.

For one, I did go on a short holiday just to let the kids go see dinosaur animatronics. It was fun. I liked how the Brachiosaurus was in full scale since it was outdoors. I have been missing the sea breeze and sunlight and just wetting my feet in sea water while walking by the beach and collecting shells. Managed to get shitloads of bug bites all over my legs.

Yusuf turned 9 on the 21st but we had to keep the celebration on the minimum coz he's not well. He's been coughing and with his history of lungs that are very sensitive, Shu and I are always looking for out him extra when he's sick especially when it involves him coughing. The doctor said he's not wheezing or anything serious. He's just coughing and it hurts his rib cage when he gets into a series of coughs non-stop. Sometimes, I'd see him fall asleep looking exhausted. 

He's 9 this year! OMG! He understands the value of money so he's quite careful when asking for a birthday present. Also, he realized that he has shitloads of toys anyways. The 2 babies wanted to go to Toys 'R' Us of course........to get Yusuf's birthday present. Shu took them to a game store instead and got him a game card for his switch.

Our last meeting with Eeno was on the 20th. He told me that he's never worked so hard in his life. I think it's good that he feels that way because when you work in an office environment, you don't always give it a 110% and even on days that you slack off, you'd still get paid at the end of the month. And still, people complain about their jobs. 

Shu has been managing people working in his office for years and everytime he comes home and talks to me about people in general, we'd always have the same conclusion. People who work and gets paid at the end of the month regardless, would never appreciate how much effort it takes to actually makes a profit when it comes to the planning of the business and having to go for meetings to get clients. They slack off and then just apologize insincerely about their mistakes and go about with their lives and expects a paycheck at the end of the month.

I don't belong in an office environment. I don't understand what people talk about half the times and most of the time, they complain. 

Went to see my parents the other day after dropping some stuff off over at Eeno's new place. My mum was going about how my sister and her "friends" have this place for "Muslimah Women" and that they'd have yoga classes and there's a montessori for the kids and there's a cafe. I find it strange how she said it's a place for women only and when they are there they dress down. WTH does that mean? I dress down at home everyday. 

My mum always thinks that I need to belong in a community. I finally told her that I cannot belong in a community and I won't ever fit into a community especially THAT kind of community. I don't understand half the things they talk about. I can't relate to anything they talk about. They're not into abandoned properties or proton packs or welding machines.........or even cars..........WTF is Yoga?! Isn't that some sort of old people exercise because it's so low impact?

I think I just cannot relate to most people anymore and whatever it is they think is just not making sense to me.........Of course, if I start saying shit like "I am against feminism" or the term "women empowerment" has lost its true meaning, I know for a fact I'm gonna get kicked out immediately.