Was on text messages with my sister last week. She kept pushing the idea of PTSD to me and I was like WTF is that?! It's strange how she and my mum always thinks that I have some sort of mental problem and that I need to get help. I told my sister that I had depression which was accumulated over the years. It caused me so much pain and eventually I lived with anxiety and had panic attacks from time to time.
A lot of things may have caused my depression but I was slowly getting help and after talking to a few people and researching ways to overcome my issues, I am finally now at peace with myself. I told her about the psychologist I was talking to. I was talking to Shu. I have learned to let go and move on. I did recommend my psychologist to my sister. She then went on to tell me that she has PTSD and is seeking help. I told her that I am all for it. I don't want to know what the issue is coz I really don't think I can help but seeking help can do a lot for her.
We grew up in the same household but our memories differ from one another. I still believe that my mum favours my brother over me. I still think that she isn't quite happy with my life choices but I can't change her. I can't change my dad either. I do know that my therapy and hard work have prevented me from getting into a lot of fights with my dad. Let's not forget that he kicked me out once just before I got married years ago.
Anyways, what I was getting at was that if at any point we feel the need for a psychological therapy, we probably do need it. There is nothing wrong with trying to get help. We probably went through a lot growing up and usually when you are little, things are so much worse than it really is because you are so small and the world is so big and you don't know or understand everything. We still don't know everything now but I am sure if you think about it, it wasn't as bad.
I used to get beat up with a leather belt or rattan stick or just hit or slapped with my parents' bare hands. I probably deserved it at some point coz I remember getting into fights with my brothers. I don't remember my sister getting the same treatment though........but I don't hold it against anyone. My parents weren't very encouraging towards me and what I liked compared to my other siblings or friends but I found my way around it and eventually wrote songs.
I write whenever shit gets out of hand. I write poetry, lyrics, fictions, journal entries, songs..........whatever I felt like writing. I never cared if they were good or bad. I just wrote. Also, picking up music was one the best things I have ever made in my life. I would learn new songs on the guitar or teach myself the keyboards. Sing in different languages.
If there was one thing I felt that could make a difference in anyone's lives it's encouragement and courage. If you are a child and your parents don't encourage you to be better (not beating and yelling at you for not being good enough), you will fall into darkness (like the Yin Yang Dragon). If you are getting the right encouragement, you will shine. Sometimes, you need a little more help so don't be afraid to ask for help.
I hope my sister finds the right help. In fact I hope anyone out there who needs help seeks help and gets the help they need. Don't be afraid :)
