there are a lot of things in this world that i disagree with....

 ...there are also a lot of things that I agree with.....

Not that my opinion or POV matters coz I am just a rando in the system. I am aware that just like everyone else, I too am collateral. 

I just sometimes wish that things were more efficient. In many ways. But there is corruption. I the system. In humans. Human error. Shit like that.

I grew up in a household that made me believe that women were constantly being oppressed and that we need to "equip" ourselves before getting into shit like relationship and stuff. None of those were ever true. I was stuck with some women who are just fucked up. They have their own problems and weren't able to compartmentalize it and throws their shit around. 

Well, an example of it all is how they think we should have a "relationship" the moment we get into secondary school. It wasn't an idea that sat well with me. I had shit to deal with. Puberty. Hormones. Grades. Getting a boyfriend was definitely NOT on my priority list. Also, I was never a people person. I like my own time. I like doing things on my own without having to confirm or reconfirm with other people who can't keep track of time.

And then, I was told that as women, we had to "prepare" certain things before marriage. I am not talking about physical appearances. It was more on like the financial aspect of things. And then, the same people who kept pestering me about all this shit on having a job and securing finances weren't even working to begin with. Then, I began to wonder why the hell was I constantly being pushed to work and earn when my husband said it was fine if I didn't wanna work coz we're good.

So, there's the whole "you have to work and contribute to your family" bullshit alongside the whole "you gotta take care and raise your kids coz you're a woman" bullshit. I do not oppose either of these ideas. I just think it is strange coming from someone who never worked and constantly pushing me to work and then, they'd ask for money from me.....and....the fact that I don't have a problem with my husband and they seem to have a problem with it.....

It's very confusing but this is the shit I keep having to explain and re-explain everytime someone brings up the whole "why are you not in contact with your family". I have shit normal people don't deal with and I have a POV unlike the taboo. 

This is has a lot more to it....especially now that Yusuf is old enough to want to know and understand a lot of things, our conversations are usually very honest but very uncommon to the society. He understands it and he was asking why I was treated as such when I was growing up. 

*sigh* 

I always wanna keep it a 100 with my kids coz I grew up in a household where shit was constantly getting swept under the rug when trying to keep up with the Joneses.