unpredictability

 I kinda like how the weather forecast is inaccurate these days. It keeps us on our toes. We don't know what's really gonna happen and we can't rely on forecasts. I like it. We just have to be more aware of our surroundings and environment.

On a different note, Shu and I had this discussion some weeks ago about AI and robots. He was telling me about a company that is developing a physical robot with AI assist mode that you can programme and curate to whatever you want it to be. I told him I liked the idea coz let's say, you are someone who's been married for so long and then, your spouse dies.......I am definitely not the type to go out there and try dating again just for company. I'd rather have a robot I've programmed to be whatever I want to keep me company.

Shu hates it coz it would ruin the memory of your spouse and it's just gonna be predictable. That's just the beauty of AI and robots. You programme it. You run the show. You don't like it, you can just reset it. I don't see it as a way to replace your spouse. It's more like just a way to keep you company without the hassle of having another human. People have too many needs and wants and is sometimes too complicated to put up with. Something that you can programme and reset is much more manageable. Besides, you just need something or someone to respond to you, not an actual person who is gonna replace someone you lost.

I know, Black Mirror shit.......

Speaking of humans being such a waste of time and money, we were recently talking about not having people who work just to get salary at the end of the month. They won't progress and they won't do their jobs properly despite having signed a contract. Hell, they won't even give it a 100% when they are at work and you definitely cannot expect them to give a 110% at any time. They don't give a shit about you and your company. They just know that they're gonna get their salary at the end of the month. It's a huge failed system. They need to be paid very minimal and everything else that they earn is based on commissions. That way, they will strive to do better.

Of course, you won't have such problems with robots and AI. They would do as they are programmed unless they are corrupt and not function properly anymore.

I am so done living a life whereby I'm paying so much for services I never get. It's just a fucking rip off and scam. I refuse to spend money on shit I ain't getting.

Moving forward......

 I've come to realise that I have become the type of person who would say "OK" to anyone who throws in an opinion at any point in time regardless if they were asked to do so........

I have also become this person who would say "Thank You" to anyone who suggests anything to me regardless if they were asked to do so.....

And if having a conversation with anyone and they decide that facts do not matter over what they think or believe despite proof, I'll just say "You are absolutely right" and then move on with my life in peace.

Looking back at how I'm always the one who tries to fix things that are broken and insists on making material things last, I have now become one who can sit back and say "Nothing Lasts Forever". I find that I am in a much better state of mind now.

I try not to associate myself with whiners because it's a complete waste of time and energy. If you just want to rant and need someone to listen but not provide any form of solution, I can deal with that. 

The 2 categories of humans I dislike greatly

 TOURISTS and IMMIGRANTS

I've dealt with so many tourists going around everywhere,locally or in other countries. I sometimes am a tourist myself. I think that at some point, there are some unwritten rules that one should know or be aware of when travelling to a foreign country or state. First rule being, understand the laws. What are the dos and don'ts. Don't just waltz into a place thinking that you can do whatever the hell you want. It's disrespectful and disgusting. If I go to a foreign land, I'd make sure I don't get into any trouble coz the last thing I'd wanna do on a vacation is to get deported.

That's not the case with foreign people who come into this country though. I used to deal with shitloads of foreign tourists from mostly asian countries like China and Korea and they annoy the shit out of me. Not all of them, but the larger number of them. I hate tourists that travel in flocks. Why do they do that? So they'd appear in buses. And then, I've also experienced smelling pee in the public parking area when going to jetty to catch a ferry or a boat to the island. Are these people raised in farms? Do they not have bathrooms where they come from?

I have also witnessed Korean tourists just not following instructions and smoking where there was a huge and clear NO SMOKING sign was. I swear that if you are too stupid to read, the sign spoke for itself. When I think about it now, I should have pushed him overboard coz we were on a boat.

Then, there are local tourists. People from this country, travelling to different states. It's one thing to support the tourism. It's a whole other problem when every public place you could ever go to is trashed with trash. They literally eat and drink and leave their trash everywhere. How do I know they are not from the same state? This sudden amount of trash piles up everytime a long holiday happens. We were trying to enjoy ourselves at a so called secluded peace and quiet area where the locals of that particular village know but when we got there, it was packed with cars whose license plates are either from KL or Selangor or that other state which isn't an actual state.........Putrajaya.

I don't know why people don't know this but if you have trash like from eating a picnic or whatever, you need to dispose it into trash bins or place them in a bag and find a proper place to dispose them. This happens everywhere in KL. Cars parked especially in public parking areas would just leave their trash there in the parking lot when they leave. They don't bother looking for a proper disposal area. It's very unbecoming, inconsiderate and to a certain extent, retarded.

Let me tell you something I saw while walking at the beach recently..........So, the monsoon is almost over and everytime the monsoon season comes by, trash from the ocean gets pushed ashore. Sometimes, I'd find trash from other countries like Vietnam or Spain when I pick up trash by the beach. It's just a safety precaution I practise because I don't want my kids or anyone to get hurt from walking or playing by the beach.

Anywho, there's trash washed up ashore and I witnessed people having a picnic in the midst of the trash. I'm not making this shit up. They literally place their picnic mat onto the ground and have a picnic by the beach surrounded by trash. Are they.......unaware? Ignorant? I can't find the right words for this specific group of people........it's just .......strange.........Are they also the same people who'd leave their kids diapers lying around by the beach? God knows!

The other group of people I really dislike in this country are immigrants. Legal and illegal. First they come in as tourists. Then, they play the same game every other illegal immigrant is playing in this country. They leave the country and re-enter to renew their almost expired passports. I once spoke to an immigrant living in Taman Tun Dr. Ismail. She's friends with my sister. She's from Spain. She said she can't afford to live in Spain coz things are too expensive and that it's difficult for her and her family to live there as Muslims so they decided to migrate.

Here's the best part, they came in as tourists. I asked if they applied for a legal green card or whatever. She said no. She'd just head over to Singapore to renew her passport and re-enters as a tourist. Oh! It's that easy?! Wanna know what else is funny about this? She and her family are renting an actual house in Taman Tun. Hell, there are plenty of immigrants renting in Taman Tun. I doubt if all of them are legal.......

So, they become legal or illegal immigrants right.......and then, comes the pandemic and boom! We all gotta get vaccinated. But not these motherfuckers. Some are just against vaccinations for whatever reason and others are not even legal so they don't use the MySejahtera app to be held responsible for their movements throughout the country. How do you even track people movement at this point?

If you know someone who is unwilling to get themselves vaccinated but is moving around town liberally, hanging out in cafes and stuff. Or even visiting a homestay in a different state, would it be considered harbouring illegal immigrants? Or is it withholding information for the safety of others?

I don't know at this point..........all I know is that if you visit a foreign country or state, could you please be less of an asshole and get yourself equipped with at least some form of information about the local laws and practises first?  I also think it's kind of a global law to know that you gotta put the trash into trash cans no matter where you go. It kinda goes without saying..............

Humans disgust me. They bring nothing but destruction to this world............

Late night hotel balcony talks

 Everytime we are on holiday somewhere away from home, Shu and I like to let the kids mellow down in bed with the lights dimmed low. Usually, it's after an entire day of activities like swimming or playing by the beach. Sometimes, we'd have coffee. Sometimes, we'd just sit outside and talk in the dark. It used to be us smoking something but we don't do that anymore........

Last night's talk was long and pretty good. We'd be married for 12 years this June and every year, we try to always be on the same page and be as transparent as we can to one another. I am usually brutally honest with a lot of things but my problems are usually emotional and just me trying to understand other human beings. Shu deals with real problems and he used to think that in order to not let me freak out or over think, somethings are just better left unsaid.

That's gonna change. I need to fucking grow up. I can't spend all my money on coffee and toys -_- and other random nonsense that only makes sense to me...........

Well, it's not a money related problem that we talked about last night. I think we're ok with that.

I seem to be facing problems understanding people, in general. People that are related to me and just people who know me. Sometimes, I have people like my cousin who'd just text me about whatever. I am the type of person who would personally text someone if I needed to ask something or say something on a personal level. It's just better that way. I also like to express things that make me happy and share the experience however I can.

I am aware that we spend a lot of our time away from home in a year. Sometimes, we're away from home every week. Sometimes, every month. It's just a way for Shu and I cope with our mental stability. A different environment. A different ambience. A different atmosphere. We don't have "friends" to have an actual "social" life. I don't know about Shu but I usually find it difficult to connect or understand people in general. I find that I am more productive when I am on my own in the studio or just dancing with the kids or working out.

I love walking along beaches and wetting my toes in the scorching hot sun. I enjoy collecting random shells or whatever and sharing it with my kids.

Last night, I told Shu that I cannot understand the signs or signals that people are sending me. I don't know if they are unhappy with themselves or if they are unhappy with what I am doing with my life or how I choose to spend my time. Either ways, Shu told me a few things that made me think a little differently about how I am perceiving all these signs. One of it being the age gap. Older people have different ways of trying to confront me. Other people are just deflecting their shortcomings by picking on every little thing I do. 

I've said this before. I like spending my time and money and energy on doing things that make me happy and the things I do may not make other people happy and that is OK because we are not the same. They make decisions which I would not choose to make but I don't think of it as a problem because that's not my call. Some people cannot accept or tolerate this and thinks that I must do what they would do.

I have come to a point in my life whereby if you were to tell me something and that is what you truly believe in doing, I'd say "you do you!" And I am happy for them. No resentment. No hard feelings. The problem is not everyone is on the same page. I really can't help them.

Anywho, the other thing we talked about was my band, RadioEdit. We were living in a different time and we had different things to deal with in our lives. Ayie was married and had a kid. Kamal was working but lived on his own. Rashid and I were university students who were living with our parents and had curfews. I spent all this time thinking that I let they guys down (Ayie and Kamal) by walking away just like that. We never actually spoke about things. 

I, for one was very much aware on how much we were spending on jamming studios. Kamal and Ayie were talking to Shu but not to me. It was weird. Maybe because I was the only girl in the band? Maybe because I was to naive and stupid to understand real world problems. But I found out from Shu last night that Ayie was actually thinking of quitting anyway because he found an actual job with a stable income for the family. The rest of us never understood that because we weren't married with kids.

Now, Kamal is beginning to sound like Ayie back in the day. I just happen to have a supportive husband like Shu and my kids are old enough for me to do the things I want to do coz they have their things to do themselves.

We had awesome materials. We worked on them real hard. Now that Ayie is no longer with us, I am more than happy to actually do something with all of the stuff we've written together. I am in it to see just how much it's worth and I am splitting equal parts with Kamal, Rashid and Ayie's family. There are millions of bands out there but I am not doing it for the fame and glory. I am not seeking any approval from anyone. I just enjoy doing it and I want to savor it for as long as it lasts. We are not the same people we were back then but we had our music. That was our connection.  

Assimilation

 əsɪmɪˈleɪʃ(ə)n]

NOUN

1. the process of taking in and fully understanding information or ideas.

   "the assimilation of the knowledge of the Greeks"

   • the absorption and integration of people, ideas, or culture into a wider society or culture.
     "the assimilation of Italians into American society" 

   
   

I'm pretty good at it that I sometimes lose myself. 

I am here, not home but not somewhere unfamiliar. We just need a change of environment. A little bit of sun. A little humidity. A change of routine.

I'm still a little tired from the journey yesterday but I refused to miss my workout routine. So, I managed to get some sleep and late lunch and I was working out for about 20 minutes. I am pushing myself to stay on track with my diet and intermittent fasting but honestly, I'm not doing a very good job.

This isn't a complaint. I am blessed to be in a place where food is abundance and cheap. I see people happy just living their simple and happy lives.

I just wish that people have more sense to be more responsible towards the environment. At least the environment they borrow for free. Beaches are beautiful. Beaches are perfect for picnics. They just won't stay that way if you don't clean up your mess.

We used to think it was a generation problem. It's just a mentality problem. In the city. In small towns. In villages. There is no sense for just collecting your trash in just one place and take it with you until you have access to a proper disposal point.

It's frustrating enough to see trash washing up from the sea. You can't just leave your trash anywhere, really. It's fucking irresponsible. How inconsiderate and self-centered do you have to be to just think that someone will clean it up? Are you stupid?