I am not angry. Not anymore. I haven't been angry in quite a while. I am mostly disappointed. I was a little upset. I was hurt but I am not angry. I am disappointed at how you are still not capable of getting your shit together like a fucking functioning adult. I expected more. So much more. I was under the impression that you of all people would have a better take at things. But honestly, you are just one part of the equation.
This is an accumulation of a lot of things. I cannot quite put my finger on what exactly made me decide to do what I did. I would see it as a better reaction than to just burst out in flames. I have been putting so much time and effort over the years to being able to control my state of emotion and spiritual. I am not about to lose my shit over something so stupid and dumb like this. I am however going to continue this what seems to look like an abandonment of responsibility to some. I am putting myself first in this case.
However, I still am trying to express my accumulated annoyance. The only problem with trying to explain things that have been long forgotten is that I would have to revisit places in my mind I no longer wish to go to. I was contemplating on going down that route but I think I have changed my mind.
I like being where I am. Happy. Content. Safe. Loved. Appreciated.
