Won't you apologize to me, to me, to me.....For being such a tease........
Shu and I spent hours having coffee at our dining table on Sunday night just chatting. We ended up going to bed at around 2am.
He was telling me about how much he despises people who are selfish. It's not selfish specifically. Just people who always shifts blames onto other people just to justify what they do. People who'd say things like "I'm not doing this for myself,really. I just want to look good when going out so that my significant other won't be embarrassed when walking with me" or " I'm trying to look good when I go out so that my significant other's reputation is honored"............OK, not honored.........
Well,Shu thinks that if you want to do something just coz you want to feel good about yourself then say it how it really is. You want people to look at you and say you look nice. It's never about your significant other.......
He's also annoyed with people who think that just coz they have rank, they are all that. Well, he was speaking about married women,specifically. He seems to be someone people talk to about relationship. No idea why. He and I are not a "Power Couple". We just say it like it is. Whether it's good or bad. We keep it that way and if we feel like a discourse or even an argument is required then,so be it.
We have fought so many times over the years and sometimes to a point where we didn't think we'd make it through but we did. We learn from one another and we learn about ourselves. I'd say, he's been tolerating a lot of my crazy assed shit coz I am a wamen and I am psycho. Not all the time but a lot of times. There are also things about him that.......well, I wouldn't way "tolerate" but I think if he likes or dislikes something, I'd honor it.
Anywho, he told me that he realized over the years that he and I both have bad temper problems and that if we don't learn to get that shit under control,we'd be fighting a whole lot more. So, he's learned to wait it out a little before confronting me about something he's angry at me about. I have learned to just walk away when I come across a situation whereby things can go really bad if I were to say what I wanted to say at that given time. So yeah, we wait out and calm down a little. Sometimes it's a matter of days. Sometimes weeks. Sometimes months.
If there's one thing I realized is that priorities and perception plays a huge role in a relationship. I was talking to someone about how she doesn't understand how I am all about letting Shu lead every decision we make. It's simple,really. I am not a career-driven person so wherever Shu works, I will follow. That's how we ended up here anyways. If I want to shop or go anywhere, I'd talk to him about it and we'll sort it out. I am not a social being so I don't go out and have tea or lunch with other human beings coz I'd rather do it with Shu and my kids.
We also talked about a lot of people from our past (and present) used to try to say or do things to not make our relationship work. Family included. It's strange. I have come to a point in my life whereby I am aware of how much some people just love telling me what to do so I just let them say what they want but I don't have to care or think about it if I don't want to. Only what Shu and my kids think matter to me.
