When you're losing touch
That dream I had about a white owl some weeks ago.........it's not in my nature to decipher dreams but that dream was strange and calm and overwhelming all at once.
Have you ever just decided to just stop giving a damn about everything or everyone else who were once supposedly the people who should be there for you but then, it's as though you woke up from a dream that whatever relationship or connections you thought you had with them were all just in your mind and that you actually don't matter as much as you thought you did to them so you just decided to let go?
Shu always said that if you were at the receiving end of a hurtful, empty minded argument, it's highly unlikely that you would be able to let go and move on as opposed to the one who is attacking at the time, mindlessly and then, they don't remember what ever it is they said and thinks that everything would just go back to normal once everything calms down. He's right.
My depression began when I was about 14 and there was never a single day I never wished that I just died. Battling that with school and studies and not wanting to come home but you have no choice so you just lock yourself up in the room. I had friends but no one understood or knew what was happening coz everyone was on different state of minds so we were never on the same emotional level.
Anywho, I never had any plans to make it through my life pass the age of 17 but here I am. I somehow managed to pull through. I made choices in my life which led me here. I am pretty sure there is a reason somewhere. There always is.
I have made the decision to let go of some people in my life because it makes no difference if I am alive or dead to them. Also, I have come to feel the same way for them as well.
