Many things bother me when ever I attend family gatherings. My family gathering, specifically. I am fully aware that I am not fully present to be considered as part of the family. That may have been my fault because I may have set it up that way intentionally.
I have no clue what people talk about most of the time. I am often left out of the loop. I have also left many family chat groups or message groups. I find it overwhelming and it floods my inbox. I don't enjoy receiving texts that are just forwarded messages from someone I don't know. And some text messages are lengthy that I just never care to read them.
I find that when I visit my parents and that they are not present to talk or see the kids not because they are not home but because they are doing something random and unimportant like TV or phone, it annoys the living shit out of me. It drains my energy.
If I could say what I really want to say, it would sound something like this :
"Why the fuck would you tell me shit like I haven't seen your kids for so long or I miss the kids but when ever we are there, you are busy talking or texting the God forsaken idiots you see every single fucking day of your miserable lives and not talk to my kids? " For the most part, I often hope those people burn in hell.
My kids are family. Not your stupid dying friends. They should already be dead. No idea why they are still living and going out for drinks, gossiping about other people. And that stupid television is always going to air bad news. Live with it. Try going out into the real world and see things for what they really are. This is exactly what happens when you listen to stupid idiots whose lives are governed by conspiracy theories like my sister and her immigrant husband.
I honestly don't know where exactly my other brothers stand in this but for the most part, they usually don't stick around too long for the same reason I don't stick around.
