Hello there and welcome to the 2nd year of the 2-week lockdown!

 I hope this means that they have an actual plan to slowing down people movements and boosting up the vaccine distribution. I'm gonna keep my cup half full. I believe in wisdom behind things happening. I lost my muchness yesterday but even though I haven't pulled myself back up entirely, I am feeling more like myself today 😊

Anywho, Shu and I were talking about stuff today. I have come to a point of acceptance whereby I truly think that if I were to die, no one in my family would give a shit or know that I died until...... Whenever........

I'm not mad or whatever. I just think that it's always been this way and they really couldn't care for things other than themselves. I also think that they lack gratitude.

I also think that they hate the fact that despite me putting up a facade of being the dumb blonde in the family, I make sense when shit happens and they can't accept the cold hard truth.

I hope my brother gets married on Monday and I hope he's happy. After all, that's what really matters ☺️

Boating

 When I say I like to pile things up onto my plate, I really do mean it. In a matter of about an hour, I have learned more things that would keep me up and busy in the next couple of days....... I hope.......

Once things are actually moving, I'll update it somewhere. For now, I am super psyched because I am actually learning something new 😊

This MCO is boring the living crap out of me, I'm not gonna lie. I've started working out again after about a month of break. I was in pain in the last couple of days but my body is used to it now. I injured my left shoulder slightly from a side plank but other than that, I'm good.

Shu has been talking to me about our finances because I think it's important that I know what's going on. He used to think it would worry me unnecessarily but I know that one of these days, I'm gonna have to know things myself.

I haven't left the house in a couple of days already. I've been trying to convince my plants that if they don't buck up, I'm moving them back into the pot of soil.

Safiyya came home from playing outside today and told me that she wants a bird........ Like a pet bird....... 😑 I'm not keen on the idea of keeping a bird locked up in a cage. She's gonna have to just befriend one outside from the wild.

Ali Imran is obsessed with Witherzillas and Witherstorms....... I don't know what he's talking about and it worries me.

Yusuf had been talking to the phone while playing Roblox with his cousins. Again, everytime he shows me something, I honestly have no clue what I'm looking at.

Yey, FidZy!

Today, I realized that Ali Imran and Yusuf are in 2 different schools in 2 different districts. So, the public holiday today only applies to Yusuf's school and not Ali Imran's. He missed his class anyways......

Yey, FidZy!

I hope Safiyya won't fall off her bed tonight.......

😕

How's it going?

 It's been a hell of a year........ I finally finished reading the Quran........on my own.........I know, I know........some people get it done within a month. Well, I am not eloquent enough to be reading with a group. I might slow people down. However, I am not like إقرا level either. Also, I read the الكهف every Friday. It's ike 12 pages long and I never get it done in one seating..........

Anywho, apart from me trying to not scream out loud to MKN to just STFU about telling us how to live our lives, I just wish they'd just do their job and actually get things done............

We had to cancel 3 of our holiday trips and it's coming up to June. Dude, I am and have been staying at home. What are these people doing anyways?

I swear there was a point to this entry........

Oh yeah!

My mom got vaccinated some weeks ago. Shu and I are waiting for our turns.........

In 2020, I learned how to build a house and waterproof bathroom tiles. I also learned a lot about woodworking.

In 2021, I learned to make coffee at home.....barista style. Shu got me the grinder and a manual coffee machine and all........Recently, I have been learning how to sail a boat. Boating 101,basically. I am just gonna keep myself occupied and try focusing on something just to get by until.......well, until things get by...........

We are in the planning stages of building a house. One, from scratch and the other is just a matter of interior decorating and fixtures,I hope.

Seriously, by 2022, if shit doesn't get better,I'mma learn how make a damn rocket and fly myself away from this planet yo!

October 23rd 2018

 Sometimes, I want to say things not because I want a reaction but just because I cannot contain it. Most of the time, I am unprepared or simply not anticipating a reaction at all but I get it anyways because I decided to say something.

October 18th 2018

 This world lacks romance. I hate this world. I cannot live here. 

My dad turned 62 the other day

 

This is him cutting the cake we sent him with Hamza and Suhaila coz the damn MCO does not enable us to cross district borders. We video called him and my mum though.

I'm not sure if I understand just WTF is going on right now. We have somewhat of a lockdown but not really. Case numbers are...... Well, just numbers at this point in time. I don't know if it makes any difference at all, really. Schools are closed but malls are opened.

Oh! We discovered a new variant of covidiots! They wear masks and gloves while going around public places. They touch pretty much everything and with the same glove they've been touching things with, they also touch their faces.

So yeah...... Case numbers....... What's that? 

Yesterday was Eid

 With all that's happening, people are having a hard time celebrating. But I still see and hear a lot of fireworks everywhere around us. That's a good sign. A lot of people get emotional on this day for some strange reason.

Last night, my mum forwarded a text message to me which she received from Tasha. Well, Tasha had always been considered as part of our family since she came to our house when she was 9 years old.

She's an only child. Both her parents were always busy with work. They used to take her to the mosque. That was where she met my grandmother. Then, my grandmother introduced her to us and she started hanging out with us.

I babysat her all the time growing up. We got along. She even followed us to UK this one time. It's funny coz her parents just let her go with us.

Anywho, she was telling my mum about how thankful she was to have ever met us and that we let her be part of our family. I still think of her as a sister. Shu used to fight with her and my sister when they were kids. It's so funny every time I remember those days.

I hope everyone is doing well these days. Selamat Hari Raya to everyone ❤️

metronome

 There is something magical about the Hummingbird. Everytime I pick it up, it makes such magical sounds and I'd record awesome samples. The playbacks on my phone is surreal.

Things are brewing and everyone is losing their minds.........on different levels. I keep telling myself that this is the first time this generation is dealing with a pan-ass-demic. From vaccine disputes to death rates and now we have numbers. They seem meaningless because people need to survive. We are running on backup plans after backup plans. It's getting quite exhausting at some point.

We need solutions. Suggestions have been put forth but we need something done.

The only way I am staying sane in the midst of all this chaos is to focus on what is truly important to me which is Shu and my kids. If I ever lose myself in the crazy world of never ending pain, I'd break. I do my part to help however I can but I can only do so much because I am limited to my capabilities and resources.

The new routines I have developed over the course of about a year has done wonders for me. We cannot lose our muchness for if we do, we might lose ourselves completely.

Sometimes, it seems like I pull myself away from this world which seems selfish but this world has done nothing to help me in times of need. I owe nothing.

Ali Imran turned 6

 Last week, it was Ali Imran's birthday. We planned a birthday celebration for him. Coincidentally, his cousins came over so we had an actual party.

It wasn't as elaborated as we hoped but he was happy. He didn't even eat the ice-cream cake even though it was oreo flavoured coz he doesn't like ice cream 😑

On Friday in the same week was his cousin's birthday so we went over to their house. We'll, the kids did. We came by later. I think they are getting bored.