Sing the last thing on your mind

 The last word on your breath

I'll be the one to keep you, keep you at your best
The last thing on your mind
'Cause I don't need your mess
I'll be the one to keep you one disaster less

I'll be ok..........

It's been a hot minute since I last felt anything............well, let's start with my weird-ass dreams. I've been having sleepless nights......again.........It's probably anxiety.........I'm not gonna lie, I am terrified of having the whole country open up again coz I am terrified of people as it is......It's gonna be weird but not really coz we're never usually home anyways and when we are away, there are usually people........

I have good news too in the last couple of days which I am excited about hopefully,if everything turns out as planned.

Oh yeah, my weird dreams...........Usually, dreams that stresses me out are the kind of dreams when I have to drive. The other night, I dreamt that my teeth fell out. Then the other night, I dream about some terrifying scream from a dead girl who has her throat slit opened and she's dead in her kebaya with batik sarong but she is screaming.........Last night, I had the least weird dream coz I dreamt that I met Justin Hawkins. I was ecstatic. The stress began when I decided to jam with him and we couldn't get our guitars in tune. 

So....so weird.....Gone are the days and nights when I'd dream of snakes or flight.

Was on vid call with my mum yesterday. My aunt was there and my dad and Qarim. My dad was talking about his bald head coz I told them that my hair is super long coz it's been over a year since I last had a haircut. My mum and aunt still insists that I continue lecturing...........I have dreams and Shu is helping me realise my dreams. I could do remote lectures since I doubt if I'm gonna be at "home" home.

I was asking Shu about working out after getting our second dose of vaccination. He told me about his brother's friend(s) who died. One guy probably died of Covid but he went running outside after a few days of getting his second dose of vaccination. His other friend died of Covid while her husband was recovering from the hospital (of Covid). She has a 2 year-old kid.

I am not planning to leave the house within the next 14 days after getting the second dose of vaccination. I workout at home,indoors anyways. I just want to know what to expect. If I need a longer time to recover then so be it. I am in no hurry to get back into my routines if my body isn't ready.

give me a second go

 Don't let me go alone

It's been quite a week. I am recovering from a really bad migraine. It's a long story. So many things happened so quickly. I don't know where to begin..........

I feel like time has been slipping away from me and the next thing I know it's the weekend again. My eating disorder is getting out of hand coz I think that's how I got sick last year 😕 Actually, it's not an eating disorder.......at least I don't think it is........I just have problems feeding myself the right amount of food my body needs. I think it's more of a mental disorder that I am aware of but I sometimes lose control of it.........yeah.......that's it........

I think us celebrating Eid at Shu's sister's house on Tuesday was actually the second I left the house since I went to get vaccination which was on the 10th. It's weird coz I am kinda stuck in between doing a few things all at once and I am not actually getting anywhere.

Shu and I did a second take on the vocals recording the other night. It's actually harder than it seems,trying to get my vocals on the same pitch on the 2 verses and the 2 choruses which has 2 different ways of singing. My writing is at a standstill coz I can't get my words out right.

My head is everywhere and somewhere at the same time. It's hard to explain.

It took me 2 days to get over what Cassius Rex did. No, I am not going to explain who he is nor will I explain what he did. He just pissed me off and I wasn't ok with it.

It's been a long while since I last jammed on the acoustic guitar and the last couple of days had been hurting my fingers like crazy. I miss it though........jamming.......singing..........not caring or thinking about what comes next...........

I miss these songs from her