dash

Sunday, March 28, 2010

killing time no more

Was at Bangi this morning.Shu needed to find the pre-marital course certificate which had been lying around somewhere in a box under his bed somewhere in his room and in order to get married,he's gotta find that piece of document along with the blood test results we did last year.We also picked up some of his stuffs to be brought the apartment we shall be moving into soon in Subang.

*THE NEW PLACE IS AWESOME!!!Kecik,Snow Bear and possibly Bedah would have loads of space to around! ^_^*

Anywho,since we had to rush back to TTDI,we didn't have time to clean up the place.We're gonna get a car sticker and a car parking lot within the premises real soon.We managed to sort out the whole bunch of keys which were given to us just to see which ones were meant for which door(s).

Anywho,I was blow drying my hair and all of the sudden,the lights went out.There was a power trip and I was about 70% done!Shu knocked my door and handed me a torch light and told me to stay in the room till he got the problem sorted out.Not long after that,the lights came back on so I continued blow drying my hair.I still have trouble blowing drying the back part of my hair so Shu helped me got it done.He's pretty good at it.I guess having him follow me to get my hair done at salons paid off ;)

Thanks baby! ^_^

Saturday, March 27, 2010

lucky number 7

LinZy-san tagged moi.........a long time ago.Since I takde keje now (in this very minute) I shall do this.........list.......thingy.........

I have to narrow down 7 whatevers into a list.I like way too many things and I hate a whole lot of things too.........

7........seven........SEVEN!

Fine,let's just get this over with!


7 things happening in my life at this very moment!

1) I shall be getting married.The confirmed date (agreed by both my folks and Shu's parents) is June 5th 2010.I was telling LinZy on the day I got engaged that I so did NOT see this coming.But then,there was a conversation I had with a classmate of mine semesters ago.It started with her announcement about going back to her home country and she was gonna settle down and stuff.At the time,I was very naive about what marriage is about.To me,that would have been the end of living on the edge.Not being able to do what I want whenever I wanted to.Then,this friend of mine told me that I can still do all that.Just not alone.Not anymore.That's when it all made sense.It's not about restraining yourself or isolating yourself or confining yourself.It's about sharing.Doing the things you like and want with someone.At that time,the only person on my mind was Shu.It had always been him.I can't explain it but I just refused to give anyone else a chance after we said goodbye back then.

2) I am SO into make up.It's weird and very sudden but I really do love them!I figured that it is after all a form of art and anything that could make myself look better is worth a try ;) <---my egoness talking.It started with a youtube make up guru who goes by the username Petrilude.I came across a video he did on Halloween make up.Then,there were other videos.Eventually,I came across Blair's channel Juicystar07.......and other channels.These 2 are my favourites and they explain things really well despite the fact that I may not be able to find most of the items they mention here.But they got me curiouser and curiouser and eventually,I just decided to give it a go.It's worth it!I know that I've splurged an awful lot but it was all worth every cent ^_^

3) I lurve Kecik a whole lot.I am beginning to love Snow Bear just as much eventhough he's a bit on the mad side.I think I can never like places which are not animal friendly and I can never forgive cruelty against animals.If I see someone hurting an animal,I'd probably go ahead and attack the person by doing the exact same thing they do to the animal(s) I don't think I am as considerate towards human beings as much as I show affectionate towards animals.That's why I am not God.I would have annihilated the entire human race within seconds!KABOOM!<---sounding like Kowalski.

4) I am trying to get into the British Council's CELTA program coz I really lurve teaching.I was telling the dude in ELS that I can never see myself sitting in a room looking into a computer screen.I've tried.I just can't.I wish I could go running and get paid or something only coz I can be on the move while working.I realized that I love connecting with other people.I just want to make people see things differently.What I have taken advantage of all these years of living is something I feel I should give back to those who never had the chance to learn.Sometimes I feel like I keep pushing myself beyond the limit eventhough my extra efforts are not going to get me extra pay.I think after a while,I realize that its probably worth it anyways.ALSO,I am hoping that teaching would enable me to travel (only coz I have problems with staying at one place for too long and getting too comfortable)

5) Since Shu is staying at my house now coz he's working in TTDI,I have been sending him to work and having dinner with him during his breaks and picking him up from work.Sometimes,I'd even make him something like sandwiches and stuff.Other times,its either we have dinner outside or I'd just bring him cupcakes or something.I'd send him to work coz the parking area at his work place would either have him resulting to pay or there are simply no parking space at all.It saves a lot of time for me to just drive him.Of course,he sometimes drives himself to work on days when I have things to do.

6) I have been fighting with my folks a lot lately.I have also been getting into fights with Shu because of them.When I said there's been way too much drama in the last couple of weeks I meant every word of it.We have been fighting and arguing and I've been crying even when we're at kopitiams or mamaks or restaurants or even in the park.I hate getting upset but the last couple of weeks have been really3 tough.We were both bitter about the outcome of our families' agreement but at some point,I figured that it's not worth getting angry at eachother because of them.It's us against them and it had always been that way.

7) I'm trying to pull myself together and get committed to a regular job.I've been sending out applications (eventhough I am still attached to my current part-time job). I don't know if I can pull off a day to day regular job.I like part-timing coz I know I can walk away anytime.I'm not a fan of seriousness.I love my free time and flexibility to do what ever I want whenever I want :/

There........7 thingys..........and I'mma tag who ever who reads this.Haha!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Arcadia,USJ11

Went to see the apartment there this morning.It is SOOOOOOOOOO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!We're so moving there!We're gonna confirm a contract on Saturday and as much as we both love Ritze Perdana (A WHOLE LOT!) The fact that we cannot take Kecik and Snow Bear (and Bedah) with us is major turn off.

*I know Shu really3 super lurve that place*

The good thing about this new place we discovered is that it is super quiet.Its so tranquil.It's the kind of home we'd wanna go back to after shopping (and work) and stuff.AND....Kecik and Snow Bear are able to stay with us ^_^ PLUS,they'll have more space to run around in compared to the previous condo we went to see earlier in the week.

*WAH!So close to Sunway Pyramid.......I can so go to M.A.C. every other day!YEY!*

I am going to meet up with the wedding planner on the 4th.Mum gave him a heads up about my fussy-ness with the products their gonna use on me face!Well,good for him.I am not THAT fussy but I do think an awful lot about what I'm gonna be wearing on my face all day long.It's a good thing for him that I have most products of my own already.

Anywho,Kecik is far from kecik.He's so big that he can't even fit through the window grills :p

Got meself a round brush (hair brush) FINALLY!

There's been way too much drama last week.I don't know if it's a pre-marriage thingy but it sucks.A LOT!I love hanging out with Shu.He's my bitchin' BFF ^_^

*Maybe I should name my new band (in-the-making) Konichiwa Bitch!*

Oh yeah,was at Lancome earlier today.I was curious about their Oscillating Power Foundation but when I was talking to the girl at the counter,she said that the product is only gonna arrive some time next year.WTF?!

I don't know why but everytime I go into some random drug store or cosmetic shop,I tend to ask Shu if he wanted some false lashes when in fact,,his lashes are already long and curled!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

me lurves this song!

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a slow torch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here no there

Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

Everything is cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it

Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain

Runaway train never comin' back
Runaway train tearin' up the track
Runaway train burnin' in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same

Monday, March 22, 2010

some people just talk too much......

but they don't have a clue of what they are saying.It's kool.I've met loads of people like that.They are probably losers in a way but they just don't know it so they try very hard to fit in.VERY hard.These type of people amuse me.

Some people think that they own us.Hurmm.........it is to my understanding that even pets we do not own.Well,not entirely.We feed them.Keep them safe but they are their own being.We can't chain them or lock them up.

I don't get people like these.Have they no respect for other people being their own free being?Must everyone they know live according to what they want them to do?Don't they have better things to do than to tell people how to live their lives?

I somewhat feel sad for these people.Maybe this is as much entertainment as they can get.

But then again,there are some people whom simply cannot respect others.It's either they don't realize this flaw within themselves or they think they are far more superior than others.Here's the thing,you're NOT.Haha!You are not going to get respect from people just because you demand it.

Life's a bitch ain't it?

Well,we're not gonna live forever anyways.I think we should just do whatever and be happy with things we want to be happy for......err........or something........haha!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

De Touch,TTDI

Spent about 60 bux to get my hair washed,blow dried and snipped off.It was worth it.I've been wanting to get my super long hair cut for too super long.Haha!

And to think that Shu and I simply walked all the way to the tiny town near my house.I was actually heading to May's shop but since it was full,I thought of getting something to drink and hungout for a bit.The killing time turned into a whole lot of drama (continuation from a prior event) and before I realized it,I was already walking away from that shop lot.As we were walking,Shu saw a huge Schwarzkopf poster outside a shop.A hair salon!They used Schwarzkopf products!ME LIKEY!

Without any hesitation,I went in and asked to get my hair washed and cut off.Shu helped me browse through a few magz and I finally decided on one style.Several,actually but they were all somewhat similar.I think it took them less than an hour to get my hair done but I was super happy with the results that I asked Shu to go for a drink with me right after leaving the shop.

We were making fun of those cops who were escorting the DYMM YDPA whom visited a fashion show at a shop near the cafe we were at.Oh yeah,Shu ordered mushroom soup and it came in a huge round bread.The top would open up like a lid and it looked really disturbing (hence the pictures on FB) and then we just started cracking disturbing jokes about it (Shu started it!) and the police at the table next to us started looking at us like we were a couple of people high on something.Ahem,it did NOT help that Shu was doing some really disturbing pose with that soup bread lid :p

We were hopping to see something funny happen to one of those drivers in them big cars like if they'd accidentally drive a wheel into the holes on the sides of the roads or something.It didn't happen.Instead,we were left with looking at a bunch of police men stuffing themselves in those tight traffic police pants (which were getting tighter!).We were contemplating on whether or not we should make fun of them out loud into their faces but we didn't.

*Actually,we forgot coz we were too busy laughing about Shu's mushroom soup bread bowl!

We were supposed to meet up with my sister after her dance class at a nearby Indian restaurant but plans changed so we walked home.Laughing and almost getting run over by huge buses<---long story :/

I need to get out of TTDI!

Friday, March 19, 2010

ultimatum

I had to do it.Something had to be done.I think we've been dancing too long and my feet is beginning to ache.My sister told me this day would come and I was hoping so much it didn't.I can take advice.I just cannot compromise.It's not my nature.Well,I can compromise but I have my limits.

If you mortal beings think I am defiant,wait till you hear what God has to say about me.

It's either we do this or we don't.Consequences and side effects aside.I'm all about here and now.What should have been or what could have been is out of the question.I don't deal with shit like that.It's stupid coz you can't turn back time (DUH!) and anything can happen in the future so just deal with that fact.

It's been a tiring day.I am so done with thinking.Like for real.I've had it.I am either going to be hanging around for some time (still) or I might be going off to some place new.I just cannot do one thing for too long.I hate routines and I am done with city life.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

pitstopping

Was on my way home the other day.My sister called me up and asked to hangout with her for a bit in Subang.I went over to my aunt's place to get her.She just broke up and she wanted to talk.So there I was,driving from Puncak Alam to Subang.After a while,my cousin called me and asked if my sister and I could go pick him up from Suwnay Resort coz he's done with work.

Sunway,6pm-ish is just traffic madness.But we went anyways.My cousin was recently transfered to the butchery so my sister told me to brace myself when he gets into the car coz he'd smell really bad.He didn't smell bad at all.He said he brought his deodorizer with him along with some perfumed oil so he didn't smell bad at all.Haha!

In the car,in the middle of a standstill traffic jam,I decided to get something to eat so my sister recommended this place near my aunt's place (which was also jam packed with cars) and the 3 of us hungout for some food and drinks.It was funny.One of us just broken up from a 4 year relationship.One of us is getting married real soon.One of us is still hooking up with different people from time to time.

It was a good therapy though.I enjoyed that outing.

Oh yeah,my aunt's female kitten has this flu going on.It's actually more like a sinus.She looked awful and she was wheezing.......I think.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

it takes a crazy,depressed,unstable person to see things in a different light and tell you what is obvious

I'd say life has brought a lot of people down this path.
Strange.
I've been talking a lot of people.
It's only been months.
Not several.
Maybe a couple.

I am afraid if things I have said might have made things the way they are now.
Not like before.
Different.
What if they are not for the better?
What if I was wrong?
What if?

I cannot answer prayers.
I do not possess miracles.
I can barely hold up a conversation.........not with myself.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

thinking of words beginning with the letter 'M'

MmmmmMORON.......mmmmmmmMALICE.........Murderer.............MmmBop!

Snow Bear totally crossed the line today.He finally found things he like and went overboard.Kak Yah dropped everything and gave him a god bath!He was playing with a chameleon outside the house and then,when that lizard did not react to whatever it was he was doing,he started rolling around......on the muddy grass........and then he got into a fight with another cat.......eventually,he ran into the house and headed for the newly washed clothes.

He was asking for it.

Monday, March 15, 2010

OMFG!

I was calculating how much I have spent on cosmetics in the last couple of months.I cannot begin to explain myself but Shu said (to make me feel better) that all those things I spent on are worth every cent.

Well,I'd say they are but if he says so then it must be something positive ;)

Managed to stay away from malls today.

*I kinda think something was up coz the amount of people at the malls and on the roads aren't as many as there usually would be :/ It's not a bad thing at all,really.Maybe things should be kept this way ;) I really thought that people were stocking up for war or something coz on Wednesday night,everyone did not leave the mall when it was getting late and people still kept on coming in and shopping!

Anywho,my sister proposed a make up shopping trip on Friday afternoon.So far,(as much as I know I shouldn't buy anyMORE cosmetics) I should be free then ^_^

*Gonna have to check with Sarah if she'd like to join us.If not,we can always go shopping earlier in the week ;)

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Make Up For Ever Professionals@One Utama

Trying to go someplace new,Shu and I ended up in Mid Valley Megamall.There was this huge recreation of Wonderland in the concourse area.It was super awesome but the amount of homsapiens in the damn mall was super annoying so we left in less than an hour.Parking was hell but I just couldn't be in such places at that time.

What we did was we headed over to One Utama (again) We were there earlier in the day with my grandma coz she needed some help with groceries so I drove her there with Shu.

Anywho,we had to go back to that mall anyways coz we were supposed to go to the aquarium shop at the lower ground level.Shu is so getting his aquarium from there ;) I wasn't supposed to but I did anyways,went ahead to the Make Up For Ever Professionals booth.I was supposed to just ask about a product but as usual,I ended up buying it coz I really lurve the coverage it gives me ^_^ AND........it is cheaper than Bobbi Brown's.

I heard and read and saw videos of reviews regarding this product.They were all telling the truth.This thing is AWESOME!

We went to the fish spa.The lady in charge of the place already knows us.We are there ever so often.I always (for some strange reason) have an open wound on either one of my feet everytime we go there.Luckily,I had the fish under control today.

blueness vs greeness

I have problems with water activated eye shadows.I do.I just really suck at applying them and making them work.So what I did the other day was to try them on anyways.With and without water.I must say that it is easier to keep the colors in control when they are dry.

Hurmm...........

I have serious issues regarding certain areas of life these days.I need cash and I need to do something to pass time each and everyday (especially when Shu is at work!) BUT<---a very huge but......,I just love having time to myself these days.I don't mind working but I love the flexibility of teaching part time.I love the free time too.

I really should (and I shall) do something serious-er regarding work but for now,I have shitloads on my mind!I still haven't picked up on sewing (how the hell am I supposed to realize my designs?!) I am still working on make up.I suck with brushes.Getting better at it I hope ;)

"I need time to think........"

Friday, March 12, 2010

ok ok.....here's a proper review......

"I'm just going to say this and then I'm going to shut up"

There are 2 possible ways to looking at the movie.

1)From a Disney fan's point of view
2)From a Tim Burton/Johnny Depp fan point of view

*Spoilers ahead!Don't bother reading if you're not interested or have not watched the movie!*

Burton's works had always been known for it's "darkness" so if you were expecting a happy,colorful,typical Disney cartoon-ness in this film,I'd say you got the wrong movie.So take a hike!

I agree that the actors spoke a little too fast. (I watched it 3 times to really get some of the lines)<---not the real reason I went to watch the movie again and again and again.The script was fine.Hilarious.Disturbing.I just wonder if the puns were intended considering that there are kids in the cinema.

*Imagine you're kid asking you after watching the movie "Mum,what's sexual harassment?"

But I am sure that kids these days know more than they are supposed to ;) It's probably not a big deal anyways........

In one of the interviews,Depp mentioned that "Hatter was very overprotective over Alice like a big brother" Wow!Really?I couldn't have guessed!if I didn't know any better,I'd say he liked Alice.A whole lot!Like when a friend likes a friend.....of the opposite sex.........

Oh well,it probably doesn't matter anyways.It's probably just a line when he said "why is it that you are either too tall or too small?" or when he looked overly excited when he saw Alice again and said "You're Alice and you're you and you're just your size!You're Alice size........" or something along those lines......

Anywho,I do think that the Cheshire cat sounds a wee bit naughty.Then again,he's supposed to.He's uber cute!

If you were expecting the Disney cartoon version of Alice in Wonderland.This is NOT it.Keep those 2 versions apart and you'll have your sanity ;)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

um.......

......from Umbridge.......

The only time Shu and I could ever hang out during the weekdays would be in the mornings only coz he starts work at 4:30pm.Well,days which are not Tuesdays would be funner in a way coz I'd usually leave for work around 1pm-ish.Need to have time for the journey to work in case of traffic jams......also,I have the tendency to get lost :p

Which I did actually.Well,it wasn't as bad as the first time I drove to work.I always manage to get to my workplace but I'd get lost on my way home.There was a huge lorry that jumped the red light at the junction where I was supposed to turn and at that moment,I really thought I wasn't supposed to turn right at that junction :/

Anywho,I missed my exit on my home yesterday so I ended up on a busier road.I wasn't like lost or whatever.I just missed an exit.

Shu and I went to watch Alice in Wonderland (in 3D!) again this morning ^_^ That would be my 3rd time watching that movie in the last days.I've always known that I have this insane attraction towards Tim Burton movies but watching it in 3D sure makes it a whole lot muchilicious!

Also,I hate weekend and school holiday crowd (and kids!)

by Danny Elfman

Oh, Alice, dear where have you been?
So near, so far or in between?
What have you heard what have you seen?
Alice, Alice, please, Alice!

Oh, tell us are you big or small
To try this one or try them all
It's such a long, long way to fall
Alice, Alice, oh, Alice

How can you know this way not that?
You choose the door you choose the path
Perhaps you should be coming back
Another day, another day

And nothing is quite what is seems
You're dreaming are you dreaming, oh, Alice?
(Oh, how will you find your way? Oh, how will you find your way?)
(There's not time for tears today. There's no time for tears today.)

So many doors , how did you choose
So much to gain so much to lose
So many things got in your way
No time today, no time today
Be careful not to lose your head
Just think of what the doormouse said,Alice!

Did someone pull you by the hand?
How many miles to Wonderland?
Please tell us so we'll understand
Alice!Alice!Oh, Alice

(Oh how will you find your way?Oh, how will you find your way?)

Monday, March 08, 2010

a much rejuvenated muchness

Went to watch Alice in Wonderland......in 3D.......again........Hah!Actually I just wanted to take my littlest brother,Azim,to watch the movie coz he wanted to come with me the other day but the tix were fully booked at the time.So took him out today ;)

Anyways,I am super excited over the new vanity table Shu and I put together today.Well,we got it last week but we didn't have time to assemble the whole thing.This morning,we took the time to do it.It's so NICE!!!!!!!I finally have a proper mirror!

Oh!AND.......my folks decided to get me a cupboard.A proper one.It's BIG!And off-white-ish and me likes its!At least I have a proper place to my clothes into.

D'oh!

P.S.: I got really pissed off by GSC coz they have 13 freakin' cinemas and the 1 with the busted 3D whatever had to be the one showing Alice in Wonderland!WHY THE HELL were they STILL SHOWING the stupid Transformers movie anyways?That movie is so 20 years ago!ANCIENT!

Tokio Hotel feat Kerli (Almost Alice)

A Freak of nature
Stuck in reality.
I don't fit the picture
I'm not what you want me to be.

Sorry

Under the radar,
Out of the system,
Caught in the spotlight,
That's my existance.

You want me to change,
But all I feel is strange!
Strange, in your perfect world.
So-o-o strange, strange!!
I feel so absurd in this life.
Don't come closer.
In my arms,
Forever you'll be
Strange!
Strange!

You want to fix me,
Push me,
Into your fantasy.
You try to give me,
sell me,
A new personality.

You try to lift me,
I don't get better,
What's making you happy,
Is making me sadder.

In your golden cage,
All I feel is strange!
Strange, in your perfect world.
So-o-o strange, strange!
I feel so absurd in this life.
Don't come closer.
In my arms,
Forever you'll be
Strange!
Strange!
Like me.

Strange!
When you touch me.
Strange!
When you kill me.
Strange!
All I feel is,
Strange!

In my dreams together,
We'll be...

Strange, strange
In a perfect world...

Strange!
I am so strange!
Strange!
I am so strange!
Strange, strange
In your perfect world.
So-o-o strange, strange!
I feel so absurd in this life.
Don't come closer.
You'll die slowly,
In my arms.
Forever you'll be
Strange!
Strange!
Like me.

living with boys

Growing up,I thought it was hard enough to be a girl in a patriarchal world.It's not just about having to do housework only because your culture is such but you also have to be able to do the things guys have to do like heavy lifting or use hardware tools to repair things and stuff.Of course,personally,I prefer doing all those over washing dishes anytime.

But come on,I have to know an awful lot of things and they don't know shit about simple things like flushing the toilet after use?That's just bad!Not to forget that my brother used my hair conditioner to make the washroom smell better after he flushed the damn bowl!

Today,my other brother used my facial wash to wash himself during shower!And the only reason I found it out from him was because I was talking to him about zapping zits!It's no wonder I found my facial wash outside of the cabinet in the washroom where it usually would be!Not to mention the sudden decrease of amount of liquid left in it!I could have sworn it was way more than that last I checked.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

back from Underland

Tim Burton has yet again got me hooked to his latest piece of work.And of course,Danny Elfman as the composer,I could not ask for more.........oooh!But wait!Johnny Depp and Alan Rickman (voice only) are in the movie too!And Helena Bonham-Carter!

Haha!

I lurve Alice's dresses!Especially after she fell down the rabbit hole!They are so very preeeeeeeeeteeeeeeee!!!!!!I am lurving Depp's Mad Hatter make up (not the hair!)

I thought the Fudderwhacking moves were fuh-ney.It got me laughing a whole lot!

So why is a raven like a writing desk again?

in case you haven't noticed.......

We are in the 21st century.If and unless you change the way you preach,no one will listen to you.Hell,I won't listen to you.Maybe it's because your language of choice does not suit me.It's a major turn off factor,really.It's like I have to reconstruct each and every sentence......word you say to English before I can fully understand what you're trying to say.

Or........

Maybe it's just your approach.I personally wouldn't bother listening to what you have to say coz it makes absolutely no sense to me and it's kinda hard for me to relate to what ever it is you're saying.Of course,I don't know about other people but despite it being a sensitive issue,I don't really like listening to religious talks especially when it comes from people with the whole "holier than thou" tone.

So please,do us all a favor and shut the hell up.If and unless you change your style or what ever,I think you really should just not bother ;)

It's either you love God too much or you 'think' He'd love you more than others when you do this sorta shit.

like everybody else.......

I too have skeletons in my closet (not that I have a closet to begin with) I sometimes have trouble keeping them to myself.Some skeletons are just too big to be stuffed into a closet.This is the part where I'd panic coz if the closet doesn't fit,where the hell am I supposed to chuck this crap at?

Well.....back in the day,I had a counselor to thrash (and cry) at.Yes,I did have sessions with a counselor only because I had trouble sorting out the shit I have.Nowadays,I no longer have that advantage.The problem is,my depression issues hasn't resolved much.Instead,it's beginning to get out of hand.

I can't explain what being depressed feels like coz if and unless you are depressed will you know how painful this is that to a certain extent you become too numb and immune to everything around you.At that point,I would either resort to inflicting external pain onto myself just so I can feel again.........or ignore it.Sleep through it or what ever.That would not be the best thing to do coz eventually it would resurface and create a worst outburst later on.

I've tried letting it out in different ways but everything fails.This causes insomnia which I have been having lately. *extensive use of concealers!* The best thing about being depressed is that I would lose weight easily from loss of appetite.I'd usually go on for days without food and to a certain extent,I'd start to hallucinate.Its kinda fun to hallucinate coz I'd see things in a whole different level.Most of which I cannot tell if they are real or not.

*I know,why can't I just get freakin' high on marijuana?!*Well.......I have issues dealing with runners.Also,when I have the cash,they don't have the goods.It's all just bad timing,really.......

My other option would be to overdose myself with random things.Now I know what taking too much paracetamols could do to ya ;) so I'd try other drugs........in forms of medications.I haven't done this in a long while.Not sure if its a good thing.

Sometimes I think I just need to sleep a little more.And stop thinking too much!God DAMN IT!

Friday, March 05, 2010

fighting demons

We all have 'em.It's just a matter of how we do it.Been doing this in a long while.Getting quite immune to the pain it causes.It's no biggie.I'll get over it ;)

Thursday, March 04, 2010

back and kickin'!

Those people at Streamyx said that it would take them a maximum of days to get our internet connection back on track (coz we moved AGAIN).Shu went for his training today and he took extra time to learn troubleshooting and he fixed our prob ;) easy peasy!

Yes,Shu is working for Streamyx and he's working in TTDI.Hahaha!How ironic is that?I live here but I have to go all the way to Puncak Alam to work.Anywho,I drove Shu to work today.He went in at 2:30pm today.Yesterday,he went to work at 4:30pm.

I love working in the afternoon coz I'd have time to do whatever I want in the morning ^_^ But I guess working only 2 and half hours a week isn't the best thing to do :/ To a certain extent,I do have the tendency to go completely mad.

Speaking of work,I had my very first experience in invigilating a mid term test on Tuesday.One student gave me some problem by failing to inform about her name being blocked off due to fees.Apart from that,I had a pretty slow week.Was hanging out at my aunt's office on Monday.Got to know another lecturer who is also teaching in Puncak Alam.

My sister is right.Apart from my supervisor,all my other colleagues are pretty much older than me.Not that it's a bad thing.Well......I hope not........ ;)

Monday, March 01, 2010

bobbi brown,one utama

Been doing a lot of heavy lifting in the last couple of days.We've moved!

That didn't stop me from carrying on adding things to my shopping list.

Well,I was at the mall in the last couple of weeks.Went to check out Laura Mercier.I was curious about their much talked about concealer pot.But then I was also curious about M.A.C. and Make Up Forever.Before I could find time to go over to those 2 places,I somehow ended up at Bobbi Brown yesterday.

The sales girl was really helpful.Shu was there the other day coz he was looking for the kabuki brush.Anyways,he did mention that he learned a lot from that girl.Well,I did too.She sat me down and put the concealer on and stuff.I lurved the end product so I just went ahead and got those ^_^

The thing about me dragging Shu along when I go shopping is coz his opinion really matters to me and the fact that I always need a second (sometimes 3rd) opinion,he's always the first person on my list.Well,there's my sister and Sarah (whom I'd always ask online) I just think that make up needs to be seen and felt unlike clothes and shoes........or handbags!

Shit!I just realized that it's already the end of February!I haven't got much time to plan anymore!Damn it!

And it doesn't help that I seriously think my students are NOT prepared for their midterm exams!SHITTO!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Terrified by Katharine McPhee

You by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world full wrong you're the thing that's right
Finally made it through the lonely to the other side

You said it again my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark,
And I'm in love and I'm terrified.
For the first time in the last time
In my only life.

This could be good
It's already better than last
And love is worse than knowing
You're holding back
I could be all that you needed
If you let me try

I only said it cause i mean it
I only mean cause it's true
So don't you doubt what i've been dreaming
Cause it fills me up and holds me close
Whenever i'm without you

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

did what I do best at the best time in the bestest way ever

Hahahahahahah!
And I am still laughing (out LOUD) about it :p

I got lost.It was the first time I drove to work and I got lost.The best part was that I did NOT get lost on my way THERE.I got lost ON CAMPUS itself!After class,I figured that there shouldn't be any problems at all to get out.I took a wrong turn and accidentally got into the wrong side of a one way street.This happened still WITHIN the campus grounds!

It got worse as I made my way OUTSIDE the campus gates.My first turn to the right was correct.Everything was fine right up till the point I got to the biggest junction traffic light.I was gonna turn right but then there was a huge lorry that came straight through where I was gonna turn.That got me puzzled thinking that I wasn't even supposed to turn right there.Weird though coz there was a road.A proper road.

I went straight ahead and ended up in some kampung area.There was no kampung on my way to campus.Finally,I decided to call Shu coz we were supposed to meet up halfway before going home.He told me to turn around.Then,it got better but not as I hoped it would be.I was on a highway that lead me straight to Kota Damansara.

Earlier that day before I left the house,Aunty Intan was at my place and she was telling me about a faster way to get to my work place through Kota Damansara.That must have been it.I was on it and it really was fast.

So yeah,I got lost but learned a new route which is awesome ;)

Monday, February 22, 2010

weekend with my sister

I spent Saturday night laughing so hard in the bedroom with my sister coz she found a whole stash of things like photos and autograph books and journals from her days when she was in school.Primary school.The pictures she found were priceless!Like a photo of my grandma back in the way when she was still a minister!And the photo of us celebrating my sister's birthday at TGIF when I was still a goth chick.Hahahahahahah!

The autograph book was hilarious!My sister used to have Eno's friends around her (coz they all had a crush on her) So what some of these boys did was that they signed the damn book but with super fuh ney things written in it like "I ---- ---"<---which was I Love You (Doh!) and some of them would write stuff like "Ingat lah Allah......." and my sister and I were like "WHA???" Where the hell did that come from?!

The funniest part was that I too signed the book.TWICE!The last thing I wrote was "LURVE ME!"

And we were laughing at the things she wrote in her journal when she was 15.She wrote this awesome poem though which never remembered writing.

On Sunday morning,she and I followed my dad to Ampang to see this Burmese family.Their son was begging at our front door the other day and that's how my dad got to know him.We decided to help his family out coz apart from the fact that this boy's folks were refugees,the boy and his 8 other siblings never made it to school after primary school.Also,the kid doesn't even have an I.D. card!AND.....his 15 year old sister has a 6 months old baby girl!Oh yeah,in case you're wondering,the boy is only 16 years old.

Anywho,after that we headed home.I took my siblings out for lunch.We had a good laugh over Indian food.I dragged my sister to the mall with me to catch the flee market.There was a booth that sells make up brushes and stuff and I wanted to try them.The market is only during the weekends and I have no idea where to find the brush supplier otherwise.Had a drink.We were talking about stuff.

Actually,we did a lot of that.Talking.We haven't done that in a long while and my sister just needed a second opinion about the predicament she is currently in.Seriously,I wish we had that conversation earlier.I just hope she'll decide to do the right thing before going completely insane.

I,on the other hand,have been going through some serious guilt trip..........I'll probably save it for another entry.

Shu got a job and he's already started work today.Yey! ^_^

Saturday, February 20, 2010

slowing down and taking a step back

Maybe I was going a bit too fast.The way I was living my life would have had me killed in a couple of months time.Slowing down is not easy but I'm gonna try working on it.Maybe it's the thing I need.

What about shoes?!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

A VERY VERY UNBIRTHDAY!!!!

Got up super late today.Had this disturbing dream about someone going missing and a whole bunch of people turning into zombies.It was really weird.

Managed to get stuff while running around doing errands and driving mum today.Got Kecik,Snow Bear and Gemok aka Fei Mao flea collars.They need it.They so need it.Especially Snow Bear and Gemok.Snow Bear is now known as the City of Kootoos.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!

Oh yeah,was going to get my grandma some cookies she wanted over at the mall so I decided to stop by at the drug store to get some eye liners.I really lurve Maybeline liners.Got meself a brown color 2-in-1 Impact Shadow Liner by Eyestudio and the Impact Express smooth felt liner in black.Yes,definitely expect some wings!YEY!

Got those kids some flea treatment shampoo too.They should all be tick and flea free in no time ^_^

I had a blastt yesterday.Shu took me to the Sepang Gold Coast.I would LOVE to have a photoshoot done there!I had a great dinner.

The night before that,Shu took me to a place called Cerana for supper somewhere in Cheras.I lurve that place too.It would be a perfect place to throw a dinner party!

Was at the Blues Bred studio (2nd time) on Monday night.We finally narrowed down our play list for the gig on the 28th.WOO HOO!!!!!!I was so not there in the studio that night.I was literally playing with my eyes closed......well,sorta.I was thinking about lion dances and more lion dances and sang when I had to.There were times when I forgot to go to the mic to sing coz I was walking around a little too far.Hehe........

The whole of Sunday was about lion dances.Monday afternoon was about the Tiger dance I've been waiting for all week.It was awesome!Spent Tuesday morning with my mum and sister.We sent my brother Qarim to Central KL coz he had to catch a bus.

I had a blast.Still looking for Tiger dance performances coz I only have till February 4th of 2011 before the end of the Tiger year ;)

Thanks for everything,baby!And thanks for all the birthday wishes people!Me lurves yous!Have a prosperous year!RRRRRRRROOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

my new favourites!

I cannot explain how much I am super lurvin these new 3/4 pants from Giordano!I am so getting more real soon!

OMFG!I cannot believe that Shu got me the kabuki brush I wanted so much from Make Up Forever Professionals!Its texture is super awesome!I really3 lurve it!

M.A.C.'s mineralized skinfinish powder is my favourite thing right now!

I absolutely lurve the new knee high boots Shu got me!OMFG!They are so damn awesome!!!

Oh yeah,I got meself a CNY Tiggerlicious tee!LURVING that too!

RRRRRRROOOOOAAAAARRRR!!!!!!!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

RRRRRROOOAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!

Was at the mall AGAIN yesterday.I was hunting down the tiger dance and we actually got around to stopping them from making the round for a picture ;)

Yes,I actually ran straight for one tiger and said "WAIT!I WANNA TAKE A PICTURE!" and the dudes actually posed for a picture and then more people joined in for more pictures! :D

Puas hati!

Now,I am back on my hunting trail for make up brushes.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!!

Muahahahahaha!

This ain't the day to be sad and angry.......Got me dose of annual lion dance.Awesome!Was chasing 7 lions from Ikano to The Curve.Tomorrow,there will be a Tiger dance.Don't wanna miss that.

Oh yeah,tomorrow is a day to be good to dogs (and cats!MEOW!) So please,if you need to abuse,by all means,go find some homosapien to beat up.Bang into someone or their cars.Burn down someone's house or something.Do NOT let it out on animals ^_^

Happy New Year!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

eve of the year of the Tiger

I am so psyched!I feel like I should do something extra this year.I am torn between either helping those stray cats living behind my house by sending them all to SPCA or.....I should adopt 2 more kitties ^_^ I think I'm gonna adopt regardless if I do ever get those stray cats help.

I think the world should be dominated by cats.Hahahaha!

I have been having this urge to eat worms lately.I just feel like digging up a few from the ground and throw them into a frying pan complete with salt and pepper.And probably some flavoring.Hurmm........sounds pretty good.

Can't seem to push myself to eat these days.I know that I've had my round of Yee Sang the other night but I think I want more ;)

Oh yeah,I was at the mall today just hopping from one store to another looking for a good kabuki brush.Those made from horse tails are the best.I am kinda liking the one from Make Up Forever Professionals.I was talking to the girl at the Bobbi Brown counter and she showed me some really awesome stuff.Their brushes are da bomb!

between God and I

I don't have a problem with this relationship.I completely understand that if I fuck around or screw up,I am definitely up for a good whoopin'.HE also knows that I hate Him sometimes but the feeling usually won't last.He's the only one whom I cannot get into a physical fight with and if He ever wants to remind me of my position in this relationship,He'd do it without fail.

We're good......

I just cannot stand human beings.......I sometimes wonder why He'd create idiots........morons.......

Friday, February 12, 2010

nein nein nein nein NEIN!!!!!!!

Not again!Shit!

Got a call from my mum on my way home today.First,she sounded all bubbly and happy about The Age of Innocence being aired on TV and stuff......then,she moved on to news about Kecik.She said he's limping.He might have gotten hit by a car coz he hasn't been home all morning.

The thing is,I cannot figure out WTF is wrong is wrong with this little guy.He's a cat.He's a male cat.He should at least be agile and swift enough to go against what ever the hell that's ahead of him.Seriously,Snow Bear hasn't got into any major shitty-ness since he first arrived.He causes damages onto others :/

If he was a kid,I would totally send Kecik for therapy!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

The so called Lightning Thief

I think I expected too much from the movie.The cast was not bad but I expected the movie to be so much better.Ah well........

We had some awful service over at The Cathay Cineplex over in Mutiara Damansara today.Let's begin at the very beginning........

The snack parlor.......There was a LONG line of people and there was only one counter opened.How annoying was that?!While there was only one miserable person taking care of the cash register,the rest of the snack crew clan were at the other side preparing the orders!That was annoying!How many people do you actually need to prepare food stuff if only one customer was at the pick-up counter?

And then,we were allowed in to sit.The credits from the previous movie session was still playing on screen!Maybe that didn't bother us too much.What did was the stupid idiot in charge of that particular cinema!The lights were already dimmed down which meant that there would be some movie trailers up next.....but what instead was that the stupid back ground music of the waiting period was still playing while the trailer was on so we couldn't hear anything from the trailer.That went on for quite a while.......

That was super annoying!

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

M.A.C. again.......

Was it my sister who told me that M.A.C. store over at Sunway Pyramid?........Yes.....yes,she was the one........

I have splurged AGAIN......this time it was on the Mineralized skin finish natural powder.I am an addict to face powder :p

AND.....I also made a quick stop over at Elianto to get some eye shadows.Me gots them duo shades in blue(s) and green(s).....yes,yesss.....me dids.......

I am kinda annoyed by the fact that NYX is not available here :(

But....nevermind.......at least we have Make Up Forever ^_^