I am just about to have had it with Dewan Bahasa! Bitch! I'm talking to you!
WTF is EKSESAIS?! WTF IS THAT?! Just WHAT?! Also, WTF is PREBIU?! Have we ran out of words? Or have people just started accepting stupidity?!
Bitch, I got sick during SPM trying not to fail my damn BM paper! It was a second language to me and it was hard! I studied HARD for the damn thing! I twisted my tongue trying to speak Bahasa Melayu Baku! Imagine, I can hardly get my vocabulary together and I had to do that doing a speaking test?!
DON'T COME AT ME WITH YEET! That ain't a word in my dictionary!
Is it romantic how all my elegies eulogize me?
I'm not cut out for all these cynical clones
These hunters with cell phones
Take me to the lakes, where all the poets went to die
I don't belong and, my beloved, neither do you
Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry
I'm setting off, but not without my muse
What should be over burrowed under my skin
In heart-stopping waves of hurt
I've come too far to watch some name-dropping sleaze
Tell me what are my Wordsworth
Take me to the lakes, where all the poets went to die
I don't belong and, my beloved, neither do you
Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry
I'm setting off, but not without my muse
I want auroras and sad prose
I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet
'Cause I haven't moved in years
And I want you right here
A red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground
With no one around to tweet it
While I bathe in cliff-side pools
With my calamitous love and insurmountable grief
Take me to the lakes, where all the poets went to die
I don't belong and, my beloved, neither do you
Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry
I'm setting off, but not without my muse
No, not without you
Took the kids to the park. I can't think of anything to do that doesn't involve going around crowded places. Travelling is a definite NO coz of the public and school holidays. That's not how we roll. We'd usually wait till everyone is at work and in school and then we'd go on a holiday. Besides, Yusuf has been sick. Ali Imran is coming down with something too. Shu's dad said that maybe it's something that Yusuf picked up in school coz his classmates seem to be sick too. He doesn't have a fever or anything. Yusuf was born with extra sensitive lungs so we are a bit cautious. He's been coughing a lot. No wheezing though. Ali Imran had been sneezing and his nose had been stuffy which irritates him and eventually leads him to cry and gets everything stuffy-er.
I have allergies. Tell me something new. I realized that I have a bad bruising behind my left knee when I got home from the mall yesterday. WTF?! IT hurts like I hit myself but I am pretty sure I did NOT hit anything.
Anywho, Shu got me one of those hiking 65 litres rucksack backpacks. He said that if we're gonna change how we travel to the island,we're gonna have to pack light. Packing light is NOT something I am good at. This would be interesting considering at how I packed the last time we went to the island. I packed like a dumbass. If there is one thing I did learn from the last trip is that I seriously do NOT need that much makeup. In fact, I don't think I should bother since my skin tone is gonna change so drastically that none of my base makeup is ever gonna match me anyways. I know, petty. I am trying. I really am.
I have also been staying away from frantic phone calls from my family coz I really don't need more drama in my life. I just hope I'll remember Qarim's engagement date. I cannot recall the date right now.........erm.........yeah.......Wait, what was I supposed to bring him again?.............Erm..........I really hope I do not need to buy any clothes for that occasion.
Shu's birthday is around the corner. I am hoping to be able to bake him a cake. I've never tried. Hah!
We were in the backseat Drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar "I rent a place on Cornelia Street" I say casually in the car We were a fresh page on the desk Filling in the blanks as we go As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead Leading us home
And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends I'd never walk Cornelia Street again That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away I'd never walk Cornelia Street again I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
Windows swung right open, autumn air Jacket 'round my shoulders is yours We bless the rains on Cornelia Street Memorize the creaks in the floor Back when we were card sharks, playing games I thought you were leading me on I packed my bags, left Cornelia Street Before you even knew I was gone
But then you called, showed your hand I turned around before I hit the tunnel Sat on the roof, you and I
I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends I'd never walk Cornelia Street again That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name (city screams your name) And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away I'd never walk Cornelia Street again I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
You hold my hand on the street Walk me back to that apartment Years ago, we were just inside Barefoot in the kitchen Sacred new beginnings That became my religion, listen
I hope I never lose you I'd never walk Cornelia Street again Oh, never again
And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away I'd never walk Cornelia Street again I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
I don't wanna lose you, hope it never ends I'd never walk Cornelia Street again I don't wanna lose you, yeah
"I rent a place on Cornelia Street" I say casually in the car
Last week had been chaotic unnecessarily. Seriously, it was not called for AT ALL. Some people just don't know where to draw the line about how far they can interfere in someone else's lives but this time most of us think that she's gone far enough.
I've made it clear about where I feel like they have put me. I'm the outsider who abandoned ship. I am the one who doesn't know what is really happening. I am the dumb blonde who doesn't know much about anything. I have no clue about real world problems and struggles coz I don't show it and therefore I don't know. What is it that you want from me now? Is this a political race now? Suddenly every vote counts?
Or you just want someone to vent out to? I had always been a listener. I may not be able to provide solutions for every damn thing but I can listen to your problems and try not to get absorbed into it.
I honestly think that there are limitations as far as getting involved in someone else's finances is concerned. Yeah.......I'll just leave it to that. Sometimes, things are not as chaotic as you think. Also, I firmly believe that things always happen for a reason. In this case, it's not physics but I am sure that things are still under control. We really don't need chaos.
That's the problem with people who are obsessed with conspiracy theories. They tend to dwell on the problems but not provide solutions. There will always be a problem. There are also ways to overcome it or handle it. Dwelling on it and always talking about it isn't a way to solve it. Some things are just written in stone is going to happen. Still,that doesn't mean we cannot think about here and now and today. After all, right now is where we are at the moment.
Maybe if they just take a step back and not try to get involved in other people's lives,they'll live a happier life. They can actually live for once.
I feel like of all the people in my family growing up, my dad was the only one who ever acknowledged who I truly was. He said I am a hedonist and that things that make me happy may not be conventional but as long as it makes me happy, I'll be alright.
Yesterday, we were at Taman Tun just hanging out. My dad was showing me some PRS guitars he liked on his phone while I was jamming away on the Ovation. He had always been a Paul Reed Smith guitars fan for as long as I've known him. He was talking to me about his co worker asking him how much the guitar costs and if he was planning to make money out of it.
I told him, first of all.........different guitars sound different. Depending on the wood and shape and materials used. We were talking about acoustic guitars of course. And secondly, if it's a hobby,it doesn't matter if he's expensive or cheap as long as you are happy with it. And he said to me ,"Only a good friend will tell you that" I truly believe that nothing is stupid if it brings you pleasure or happiness.
Shu is a watch person. I don't care if he buys expensive watches coz he likes it. I am an acoustic guitar person. Always had been although I don't have a particular brand or make that I like, the Epiphone Shu got me was a pink Hummingbird Pro with built-in pick up and it's made of solid wood. Playing that makes such a difference in comparison to my old Morisson or the junior Epiphone Shu got me earlier (which I travel with)
Anywho,our studio is finally ready. Mic is in and we have a U-Phoria UMC202HD Behringer 2 line mixer hooked up to my laptop. I have about 4 samples to work on. Rashid said that if he ever comes around,he's gonna bring his guitar and an amplifier coz we only have one. This is awesome. I'm hoping that Simon will bring his classical Spanish guitar around to record some samples that we can eventually work with.
Shu's dad once asked why we had so many guitars and if they sound different. The answer is Yes. Single coils and humbuckers sound different. Acoustics sound different too. Looking at how my progress with electric guitars is kinda slow, the Mega Distortion pedal I have should be good enough for an idiot like me to work with.
Was talking to Shu about people online and how they feel the need to comment all the damn time. The fact that they feel like they actually have the rights to cross the damn line just cause they know they are not gonna get punched in the face saying shit. I don't know why things are so out of control sometimes.
The very reason I decided to stay off grid online and on social media is this. Some people like to treat status updates like an open diary and not actually addressing the person they are having problems with. Typical. Others are just the same people who feel like they need to say something to every post. Sometimes, I feel like "NO ONE ASKED FOR YO DAMN OPINION!" Some are just down right negative people. Negative about their posts. Negative towards other people. WHY?
Lately, what shocked me the most is people passing remarks about me IN REAL LIFE. And these people don't know me nor do I know them. I was telling Shu that back in March, when we were on the islands, there were this group of ladies who probably was at some family day event so they were hanging out in groups together with their husbands and kids by the pool. I was waiting for the kids at the table next to them. Just watching the kids and making sure they don't do anything dangerous. Ya know,minding my damn business.
They kept looking at me like this was high school and I did something bad and the whole school knows about it. I didn't know who they were. It was the first time this happened so I wasn't sure about what I was supposed to do. Shu came back from the hotel room and I told him about it and he said just ignore them. So I did. Actually, he told me to stare back but I'd never do that coz I am just non-confrontational by nature.
It's weird coz I am not some celebrity or some Instagram model with millions of followers. I'm just me and I was minding my damn business and living my life. I don't know why but I feel like it had something to do with how I dressed. This seems to be an issue it seems.
When I was waiting for Shu to get the car at the jetty back on mainland during our recent trip to the island, I was waiting at the playground with the kids. I wore a black dress and I had my sunglasses on. There was a lady that passed by and stared at me and said ",Oh,She's Malay........" So what if I am? WTF does that even mean? It didn't bother me so much this time coz at this point, I figured that some people just can't keep their opinions about other people that they don't know to themselves and there is nothing I can do about it.
So that is where we are at right now. Living among people who feel the need to comment and pass remarks about other people they don't know. Not just online,mind you. I don't think it will bother me but it's wild to think that someone like me who is a nobody still gets mean things said to me. I can't imagine if you are a public figure. I always feel like progressive comments are good in order to help other people move forward especially in the world of creative content creation. This is not helpful especially when you (the people who comments negative shit) are not even creating anything.
I'm about to rant so feel free to stick around........hhahahahahaaaa..........
The MCO and the pandemic really does suck balls. People are losing jobs. Economic movement is slow..........me and my first world problems world.........parcels are stuck and missing everywhere........
Shu had to cancel the guitar order from Fender.........which is why he replaced it with the Epiphone Hummingbird Pro...........I like it either ways.........
In the beginning of the MCO, I placed an order from La Senza coz I didn't know how long we were gonna be in quarantine and I was in need of erm.........under garments..........Well, it's been months and I still haven't gotten my orders.........erm..........yeah...........
Safiyya's birthday gift is missing and we have no idea wtf is going on........
I think the most epic screw up was made by Valiram. They had the friends and family sale as usual and this time they decided to have it online since people can't leave their houses. We ordered ONE pair of shoes coz we weren't sure what kind of delivery service they were using. On the site, it stated expect delivery between 7-10 business days...........We waited for a month. Maybe more. We had to go back and forth contacting Valiram customer service and GDEX. We finally received the parcel only to discover that they not only sent us the wrong pair of shoes but it was half a size smaller. And this pair cost way less than what we ordered.
I'd say the shoes looked cute. And yes,they fit me. Shu called the customer service line and discovered that someone at the warehouse screwed up our orders. The shoes we originally ordered is now out of stock. NO KIDDING! So, we were provided options. They could return the balance difference of the price of the shoes and give us some discount vouchers to make up for the screw up. Or, we could return the shoes and wait for the ones we ordered to come back in stock and they'll deliver them to us. Or we could just return the whole thing and get our cash back -_-
It's been months.........and like I said, the only person to blame was the person who screwed up our order at the warehouse. I am not one to get upset and freak out. The shoes still fit me and they are cute. So Shu and I decided to get our money back just to make up for the price difference.
Seriously,so far, Zalora is the only company that haven't screwed up anything..........
*sigh*
I know,petty but I needed to vent.
Anywho, I am expecting a parcel today........this one took longer than expected but they did provide a tracker and so far,they are still keeping their turn around time in check...........
This ain't for the best My reputation's never been worse, so You must like me for me We can't make Any promises now, can we, babe? But you can make me a drink
Dive bar on the East Side, where you at? Phone lights up my nightstand in the black Come here, you can meet me in the back Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you Oh damn, never seen that color blue Just think of the fun things we could do 'Cause I like you
This ain't for the best My reputation's never been worse, so You must like me for me Yeah, I want you We can't make Any promises now, can we, babe? But you can make me a drink
Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head? 'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate) Is it cool that I said all that Is it too soon to do this yet? 'Cause I know that it's delicate Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Delicate
Third floor on the West Side, me and you Handsome, your mansion with a view Do the girls back home touch you like I do? Long night, with your hands up in my hair Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share 'Cause I like you
This ain't for the best My reputation's never been worse, so You must like me for me Yeah, I want you We can't make Any promises now, can we, babe? But you can make me a drink
Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head? 'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate) Is it cool that I said all that Is it too soon to do this yet? 'Cause I know that it's delicate Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Delicate
Sometimes I wonder when you sleep Are you ever dreaming of me? Sometimes when I look into your eyes I pretend you're mine, all the damn time 'Cause I like you
Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head? 'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate) Yeah, I want you Is it cool that I said all that Is it too soon to do this yet? 'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate) 'Cause I like you Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head? 'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate) Yeah, I want you Is it cool that I said all that Is it too soon to do this yet? 'Cause I know that it's delicate Delicate
Before Shu and I were married,he took me back to Terengganu during one of my semester breaks. I bought a one way flight ticket and packed a whole suitcase of clothes. This must have been about 11 or 12 years ago. I remember it was monsoon season. It was so beautiful. It was just rain. Non-stop. I loved it so much.
Then,after we married, Shu and I headed off to Redang Island for the first time. I didn't want to leave. If you have ever seen photos or paintings of a paradise island getaway where the sky is blue and the sea is blue and the sandy beaches are so white,this place was exactly that. That was when I realized that I am a beach person.
After that, we have been visiting the island every year..........well, except for 2017 coz I gave birth to Safiyya and I almost died and it took me so long to recover. Our kids are molded and made into beach people. All of their initiation were made at the beach on this island.
This year, we drove back for Aidil Adha. We usually don't. The traffic is usually bad and we'd be on the road for hours. It truly was just that. It took us 9 hours to get back to Shu's parents' house. Usually, we'd spend about 3 hours on the road depending on how fast we're going. It was insane but worth it.
The kids were asleep in their carseats in the back. I stayed up keeping Shu company. I could have been pulled over and tested for drugs looking at the way I was partying in the car past midnight to 3am to 5am. Yeah,it took us an hour to get from the toll booth to Shu's parents' house. The drivers in the other cars were tired and sleepy as hell so I put on some awesome music and danced in the passenger seat since our car window isn't tinted. Some people were entertained.
The kids and I had a blast. It was tiring but worth it. We helped Shu's dad fix his car. We also helped Shu's parents with the qurban meat. I spent hours cutting fresh meat. I really love knives and meat cutting...........ok,that wasn't meant to make me sound like a psychopath.
The kids enjoyed motorbike rides with their grandpa. They played with their cousins. We had a blast. I know, I already said that.
I hope we'll do this again coz I love being in Terengganu.
