I wish to know

 The fatal flaw that makes you long to be

Magnificently cursed

I get a lot of assumptions about my body weight and physical size...... I'm not always thin and I'm not super healthy. I'm just running on a feelgood mode. I sometimes forget to feed myself and I sometimes crave random things.

I'm also not a fitness trainer. I just know myself and my capacity. It's taken me quite some time to get here mentally and physically but I find that I'm happy with what I'm doing. I am aware that I tend to go overboard from time to time so I'd take a step back and readjust and I'm back on track.

I was at the store the other day trying to get a pair of pants. Leggings. Jeans. One of those..... And I usually wear an M but I felt like I I've lost quite a bit of weight so I decided to get another pair in S. 

Since it's a pandemic, the fitting rooms are not opened for use. Funny how the sales guy said that he's got a measuring tape in case I wasn't sure. I got both pairs anyways. Shu said the smaller one fit me nicer 😊

Shu is the smartest person I know and everytime we chat, I'd always learn something new about anything. Historical facts mostly. It's interesting. I'm more of a culture and language person.

Anywho, during lunch today, Yusuf asked me why I speak English a lot. My reply was

 انا لا اتكلم العربية

😁

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

 Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

You turned into your worst fears

Is it just me or the people who is against vaccination just strange? It's understandable if you are charged for each vaccine or if that you have concerning medical conditions that work against the survival of your health and life but....... Just declining it? It offends them if I used the "A" word (anti-vaxxers) and they insist on not anti but delaying. 

Why? I don't know. They say it's coz they have no need to travel. OK. Whatever, man. I mean, you got kids and you don't care I guess.

I woke up this morning and started crying to Shu coz I had a bad dream about losing Safiyya. I think I was overthinking about yesterday when she ran off behind the car as we were loading the car and I was starting the engine. It's my fault for not getting my priorities straight. I always make sure the kids are seated in the car before doing anything else.

Anywho, we were driving around and the plan was to get lunch. Shu wanted the kids to have a dine-in experience since it's been so long since they actually went anywhere than just being in the car. He called up our usual spot and they said the other hotel was opened. As long as we have completed our 2-doses of vaccines and have passed the 14-days quarantine post vaccination, we are allowed to dine-in.

It was strange for the kids coz they are still not used to being out and about but at the same time wanted to go to the mall. It's still off limits to kids btw......Malls.......Just dining in is allowed.

I think it's good to know that shops are taking precautions in making sure that we are vaccinated and check our digital certs at the same time before letting us in.

Our last holiday was in January and every other holiday or trips we've booked or planned after that had to be canceled. It's kind of a bummer but we also wanna protect the kids. I'm OK with staying in and watching the world from a distance. I just need some sunlight from time to time. 

My Tears Ricochet by Taylor Swift

 [Verse 1]

We gather here, we line up, weepin' in a sunlit room

And if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too

Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe

All the hell you gave me?

'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you

'Til my dying day

[Chorus]

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

And you're the hero flying around, saving face

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet

[Verse 2]

We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean

Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring

You know I didn't want to have to haunt you

But what a ghostly scene

You wear the same jewels that I gave you

As you bury me

[Chorus]

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet

[Bridge]

And I can go anywhere I want

Anywhere I want, just not home

And you can aim for my heart, go for blood

But you would still miss me in your bones

And I still talk to you (When I'm screaming at the sky)

And when you can't sleep at night (You hear my stolen lullabies)

[Chorus]

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

You turned into your worst fears

And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain

Crossing out the good years

And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet