Went to the store last night coz I totally forgot to do it on the day we were out on a date......... Coz it was a date....... And we were shopping......... For house things......... OK, I forgot completely.
Anywho, managed to get these last night
Very limited thingys but I did quite a lot of damage coz I was shopping on my own....... For Halloween........ It's never a good idea......
Today, Shu decided to shop online coz Yusuf wanted decorations for his room so we got these.........
I also made popsicles coz I made a promise to Safiyya
The kids were at their cousins house since morning so Shu and I decided to have breakfast together and did some shopping while it was just the 2 of us. OK, we did a lot of shopping.
We had breakfast and coffee at Wolf and Turtle coz I freakin love their avocado toast and coffee. Always coffee. Yes.
Then we decided to look for a mirror for the entryway. And a pair of slippers for Shu. I also picked up a pair of sports bra with a matching pair of leggings. Hell Yaass!
We had to get some clothes for Safiyya coz she was outgrowing hers a little too quickly these days. I found a dress...... At the kids section. I fit the 12-year old size as it turns out.
Holy shit, we did a lot of damage at the furniture and interior decorating shop. I got a gaming chair and storage boxes for the kids and a decorative mirror for the entryway 😊 yay!
Lastly, we did some grocery shopping. We got home at about 3pm. Safiyya and Ali Imran came home shortly after. Yusuf stayed on coz he wanted to go swimming with his cousins.
I have come to terms with the fact that all that I will ever be is collateral. Anytime, anywhere. I could just be an unfortunate fate somewhere and that is that. I mean, it's not like we live forever.
But there are things that haunt me.........things that I cannot undo or control. Things that had been said and done. Not just by me but a society I am part of. As much as I wish to change it, I can't.
However, I am beginning to think that politicians are toxic and selfish. Everything that ever comes from them are lies and they have no means to serve the society. We were introduced to the idea of a technocratic governing system. Unfortunately, I live in the time and age of people not even looking up what the word means. All that matters is the flag they carry. It was an idea. It was a proposal. It could be a solution.
I long for life among people who read an entire article and understand or at least try to understand what they've read instead of just reading a headline and then react. Your reaction to a headline is useless. Why react at all? Why not contribute productive ideas and suggestions and solutions to overcome a problem instead? We have opinions but they are just comments, hateful or not. We need to be more helpful towards one another.
I've lived my whole life with people who comment on every single thing I do. They never provided solutions. They did not help one bit.
Say a prayer. For anyone, really. Or anything. For people we don't know. For people we might have hurt accidentally. For people out on the road trying to make a living.
I have found peace within myself when I stopped praying for myself and started praying for everyone else regardless if I know them at all. I am not one in the position to impose religion on anyone but my journey of trying to find peace was long and difficult and sometimes I couldn't see a way out. Hence, my depression and sleepless nights. Then, I realized that I was too focused on the negativity which was myself and all that I was.
Sometimes, just because something doesn't happen to you doesn't mean that you don't have to bother to lift a finger to help. I want to die knowing that I did try to do something good for someone out there regardless who they are or if I even know them.
Got up on the wrong side of life today, yeah Crashed the car, and I'm gonna be really late My phone doesn't work 'cause it's out of range Looks like it's just one of those kind of days You can't kick me down; I'm already on the ground No, you can't 'cause you couldn't catch me anyhow Blue skies but the sun isn't coming out, no Today, it's like I'm under a heavy cloud
And I feel so alive I can't help myself Don't you realize?
I just wanna scream and lose control Throw my hands up and let it go Forget about everything and run away, yeah I just want to fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah
So-so is how I'm doing if you're wondering I'm in a fight with the world, but I'm winning Stay there, come closer - it's at your own risk Yeah, you know how it is: life can be a bitch
But I feel so alive I can't help myself Don't you realize?
I just wanna scream and lose control Throw my hands up and let it go Forget about everything and run away, yeah I just want to fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah
Run away, run away Run away, run away Run away, run away (Run away, run, run away) Run away, run away (Run away, run, run away)
I just wanna scream and lose control Throw my hands up and let it go Forget about everything and run away, yeah I just want to fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah
I just wanna scream and lose control Throw my hands up and let it go Forget about everything and run away, yeah I just want to fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah
And I've been meaning to tell you I think your house is haunted Your dad is always mad and that must be why And I think you should come live with Me and we can be pirates Then you won't have to cry Or hide in the closet
Nadiah gave birth yesterday. The baby looked cute and healthy ^_^
I have been trying to write lyrics for the 2 new song samples I recorded the other day. I've got nothing.
That series we've been watching on Netflix (You) is giving me mixed feelings about a lot of things. I usually don't care much for settings as such. I am more of medieval or epic type movies......shows.......with the exception of American Horror Story and Ratched. Ok, I am also a fan of The Haunting of Hill House and The Haunting of Bly Manor.
I really should just put on Hocus Pocus or The Nightmare Before Christmas just to get into the mood of Halloween. I have a look in mind.........
I am kinda obsessed with this right now............
Terang bulan yang berseri-seri Ku bersaksi Pertemuan ini Indah melampaui bidadari Disini resah jiwaku tenggelam Terluah jatuh disambut bayu malam Bulan jadi cerminan diri Rindui bintang penyeri hati Mata temu mata Berguguran bicara Kata demi kata Merubah tutur jadi rasa Hanya keasyikan Pada kewujudannya Nafas dan nadi bak terhenti Pertemuan ini Kian terasa bagai bererti
Hamba harus akui Yang kedatangan hamba ke sini Kerana tertarik dengan keindahan pemandangan di sini Kini telah hamba pastikan Dan seharusnya Hamba bermohon pergi Memang benar rupanya Orang Melaka bersopan santun Dan laksamananya pula pandai berpantun Rasa hatiku ingin bertanya Dimanakah letaknya rahsia (Rahsia) Pertemuan Pengabadian Jika kasih ini berlarutan Gunung Ledang puncak yang tertinggi Akhir yang sempurna, makam hakiki Disanalah (disanakah?) Kan ku kembali Pada mula dan akhir ku ini Kembali Tak pernah ku rasa Sentuhan luar biasa Bagai dalam mimpi (bagai dalam mimpi) Atau seakan telah terjadi Aku yang terpisah Kembali bersatu jiwa Bagai telah diijabkabulkan Pertemuan ini Apa kan berakhir di syurga? Aku yang terpisah Kembali bersatu jiwa Bagai telah diijabkabulkan Pertemuan ini Apa kan berakhir di syurga?
In case anyone fails to see, the idiots on mainland had always been within the state of Selangor.
Social Distancing? What's that? Not being able to leave the house for 2 weeks? We're gonna die!
Nope, we're not the United States...... Just a state in a tiny country........
Water problems? On it! We live like peasants in the city! But people who live in the city act like they all that but they've never been outside to other states to actually see what life really is like. And they still think living in the city is all that.
I do not make any sense at this point but seriously, people need to wake up.
Shu's brother and wife (Nadiah) came over too. Aina too. They stayed till dinner. It was fun. Nadiah is gonna give birth at anytime now. She's so active and up and running. I don't ever remember myself being like that when I was pregnant. I don't miss it tho..........
Shu's parents were telling Nadiah how I don't eat soups or liquids much. They know me so well.
Honestly, I don't think I eat much at all. I have a bad habit of not feeding myself well. I am in the works to fixing that. Also, I am not a soup person. Never had been. In fact, I am not enthusiastic about food at all. I could drink shitloads of coffee tho........So that would take me from DEPRESSION to ANXIETY. Awesome!
I am not depressed anymore. I think I just overthink and nothing more.
The only thing that is keeping me hoping and praying are my plants. I hope they aren't dying. I'd get so upset everytime my plant dies. I think I have accidentally killed 3 at this point. I am trying so hard to keep the current ones alive. I have de-potted them and changed the soil composition and re-planted them. My monstera is still living in water.
Shu's mum asked if my mum had ever been to our house since we moved. I said never. Not even once. She's probably figured out what kind of relationship I have with my mom by now. It's been 10 years and everytime she asks about my mum, I wouldn't know whether or not she's ok coz she never picks up the phone. She's always too busy. The only time she'd call me is when she wants to know a dinosaur name -_- coz Hamza is a dino freak.
I guess I was kinda expecting a movement restriction order to take place...........my reaction was like..........
The only difference this time is that we are not allowed to cross over other districts. It's both good and bad. It's a good excuse to not attend events I don't want to. We're just probably gonna have to re-plan weekend dinner places coz we usually drive away for dinner and then drive around.
Shu was waiting for a restriction order to take place just so that he can stay home.
I think this doesn't change much for me since my entire life is basically just this. It's not like I have places to be or people to meet. I'm probably gonna miss driving around with Shu and the kids but we do have the Wii up and running. I have my workout routine. I have the guitars and this is probably the best time to finish up the songs I've written halfway and left hanging.
I am still waiting on our packages.......waiting.........waiting...........waiting............
I I I I, I I I I I I I I, I I I I I I I I, I I I I, I I
You stand with your hand on my waist line (I I I I, I I I I) It's a scene and we're out here in plain sight (I I I I, I I I I) I can hear them whisper as we pass by (I I I I, I I I I) It's a bad sign, bad sign (I I) Something happens when everybody finds out (I I I I, I I I I) See the vulture circling dark clouds (I I I I, I I I I) Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out (I I I I, I I I I) It could burn out (I I) 'Cause they got the cages, they got the boxes (I I I I, I I I I) And guns, they are the hunters, we are the foxes (I I I I, I I I I) And we run
Baby I know places we won't be found and they'll be Chasing their tails tryin' to track us down 'Cause I, I know places we can hide, I know places I know places
Lights flash and we'll run for the fences (I I I I, I I I I) Let them say what they want, we won't hear it (I I I I, I I I I) Loose lips sink ships all the damn time, not this time (I I I I, I I I I, I I) Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it (I I I I, I I I I) My love, they are the hunters, we are the foxes (I I I I, I I I I, I I) And we run
Baby I know places we won't be found and they'll be Chasing their tails tryin' to track us down 'Cause I, I know places we can hide, I know places They are the hunters, we are the foxes And we run Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it My love
Baby I know places we won't be found and they'll be Chasing their tails tryin' to track us down 'Cause I, I know places we can hide, I know places
They take their shots, but we're bulletproof I know places (I) And you know for me it's always you I know places (I) In the dead of night, you're eyes so green I know places (I) And I know for you it's always me I know places
Combat, I'm ready for combat I say I don't want that, but what if I do? 'Cause cruelty wins in the movies I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you
Easy they come, easy they go I jump from the train, I ride off alone I never grew up, it's getting so old Help me hold onto you
I've been the archer I've been the prey Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?
Dark side, I search for your dark side But what if I'm alright, right, right, right here? And I cut off my nose just to spite my face Then I hate my reflection for years and years
I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost The room is on fire, invisible smoke And all of my heroes die all alone Help me hold onto you
I've been the archer, I've been the prey Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay? (I see right through me, I see right through me)
'Cause they see right through me They see right through me They see right through Can you see right through me? They see right through They see right through me I see right through me I see right through me
All the king's horses, all the king's men Couldn't put me together again 'Cause all of my enemies started out friends Help me hold onto you
I've been the archer I've been the prey Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay? (I see right through me, I see right through me) Who could stay? Who could stay? Who could stay? You could stay You could stay You
I have a rough idea of what our Halloween plans are but I can't be too sure coz this Pandemic is getting out of control again. Are people just stupid or are they just stupid? I highly doubt that relying on each individual's righteous conscience to self quarantine is ever gonna work. They won't even care to report or just care for that matter.
Problem: Population Density <---Densed MoFos
Nadiah (Shu's brother's wife) is gonna give birth anytime soon. I hope things go well.
We just arrived at my parent's when my mum got a call from Simon about Suhaila slipping and falling and hitting her head on an edge tile and she was bleeding. They rushed her to the ER. She's fine though. She's a tough baby.
My sister cameby later after the whole hospital visit was done. She was asking me about makeup again. She bought stuff from Nita Cosmetics. They turned out to be good just as how I expected them to swatch. She was asking me about the foundation match. (Sometimes I feel like my sister and my aunt talks to me like I am a makeup expert)
Anywho, I feel like we are all holding our breath just waiting to see what the next course of action is when it comes to this whole pandemic situation. The numbers are shooting high. Higher than before. Shu had been preparing all week last week for another lockdown. The best part about him and his sister running the firm is that they took the pay cuts but they paid all their staff full. He didn't take about 3 months salary just to save the firm. We all make sacrifices in times like this. I hope shit gets better for everyone.
We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January This is our place, we make the rules And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?
Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever? And ah, take me out, and take me home You're my, my, my, my lover
We could let our friends crash in the living room This is our place, we make the call And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all
Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever? And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever) You're my, my, my, my lover
Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand? With every guitar string scar on my hand I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue All's well that ends well to end up with you Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover
Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever? And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever) You're my, my, my, my Oh, you're my, my, my, my Darling, you're my, my, my, my lover
Most of the time, they don't get into trouble with their parents. Not me. I was and always will be a horrible liar.
I can't stop laughing just thinking about it.
I once told Shu to hide in my cupboard coz Kak Yah was coming to my room to clean and while I was trying to think of what to say to her, he didn't budge. Kak Yah saw him in my room and was shocked. I told her casually that nothing happened and that he was just helping me out with something. Why didn't he go into my cupboard? Coz my cat Fei Mao was there in my cupboard. Yes, she can be condescending at times. She was giving Shu the "Don't even think about it" look.
We spent a lot of our afternoons at the park with my dad and brothers. Sometimes just playing badminton or running or rugby or whatever. Most times, we'd get really tired. One morning, I was supposed to wake Shu up. He was sleeping in the guest bedroom downstairs. I was so tired. I went into the room and tried to wake him up and then fell asleep right next to him on the bed. The door was wide open. Then, I heard my mum coming downstairs so I got up quickly. I must have been extra stupid that morning coz as she was getting her things on the dining table getting ready to go out, she saw me waltzing out from the guest bedroom. She looked horrified. Again, I told her to calm down coz nothing happened.
I think the worst thing that happened was when I fought with my dad and he kicked me out. I was staying with Shu the whole time but the lie we told was that I was living with some female friends of his in their apartment. My mum never believed us but she played along just so that I wouldn't get killed by my dad. The dumbest thing that happened was that while we were shopping for stuff (like towels and pillows and stuff) we bumped into my sister and her boyfriend at the time who was Naim.
2 weeks before our reception (after getting married) we were playing badminton with my dad at the park. That old man has no chill. He'd play like this was some competition and he smashed the shuttlecock into my eyeball. His friend was yelling at him asking if he was trying to kill me. My dad got more yelling from my mum at home coz I was supposed to not get injured for my upcoming wedding reception.
*Note to Shu* NO, I won't ask or bring up anything about any of this to my mum ever again coz I don't think she has the energy to care :p
