Sing the last thing on your mind

 The last word on your breath

I'll be the one to keep you, keep you at your best
The last thing on your mind
'Cause I don't need your mess
I'll be the one to keep you one disaster less

I'll be ok..........

It's been a hot minute since I last felt anything............well, let's start with my weird-ass dreams. I've been having sleepless nights......again.........It's probably anxiety.........I'm not gonna lie, I am terrified of having the whole country open up again coz I am terrified of people as it is......It's gonna be weird but not really coz we're never usually home anyways and when we are away, there are usually people........

I have good news too in the last couple of days which I am excited about hopefully,if everything turns out as planned.

Oh yeah, my weird dreams...........Usually, dreams that stresses me out are the kind of dreams when I have to drive. The other night, I dreamt that my teeth fell out. Then the other night, I dream about some terrifying scream from a dead girl who has her throat slit opened and she's dead in her kebaya with batik sarong but she is screaming.........Last night, I had the least weird dream coz I dreamt that I met Justin Hawkins. I was ecstatic. The stress began when I decided to jam with him and we couldn't get our guitars in tune. 

So....so weird.....Gone are the days and nights when I'd dream of snakes or flight.

Was on vid call with my mum yesterday. My aunt was there and my dad and Qarim. My dad was talking about his bald head coz I told them that my hair is super long coz it's been over a year since I last had a haircut. My mum and aunt still insists that I continue lecturing...........I have dreams and Shu is helping me realise my dreams. I could do remote lectures since I doubt if I'm gonna be at "home" home.

I was asking Shu about working out after getting our second dose of vaccination. He told me about his brother's friend(s) who died. One guy probably died of Covid but he went running outside after a few days of getting his second dose of vaccination. His other friend died of Covid while her husband was recovering from the hospital (of Covid). She has a 2 year-old kid.

I am not planning to leave the house within the next 14 days after getting the second dose of vaccination. I workout at home,indoors anyways. I just want to know what to expect. If I need a longer time to recover then so be it. I am in no hurry to get back into my routines if my body isn't ready.

give me a second go

 Don't let me go alone

It's been quite a week. I am recovering from a really bad migraine. It's a long story. So many things happened so quickly. I don't know where to begin..........

I feel like time has been slipping away from me and the next thing I know it's the weekend again. My eating disorder is getting out of hand coz I think that's how I got sick last year 😕 Actually, it's not an eating disorder.......at least I don't think it is........I just have problems feeding myself the right amount of food my body needs. I think it's more of a mental disorder that I am aware of but I sometimes lose control of it.........yeah.......that's it........

I think us celebrating Eid at Shu's sister's house on Tuesday was actually the second I left the house since I went to get vaccination which was on the 10th. It's weird coz I am kinda stuck in between doing a few things all at once and I am not actually getting anywhere.

Shu and I did a second take on the vocals recording the other night. It's actually harder than it seems,trying to get my vocals on the same pitch on the 2 verses and the 2 choruses which has 2 different ways of singing. My writing is at a standstill coz I can't get my words out right.

My head is everywhere and somewhere at the same time. It's hard to explain.

It took me 2 days to get over what Cassius Rex did. No, I am not going to explain who he is nor will I explain what he did. He just pissed me off and I wasn't ok with it.

It's been a long while since I last jammed on the acoustic guitar and the last couple of days had been hurting my fingers like crazy. I miss it though........jamming.......singing..........not caring or thinking about what comes next...........

I dangle up on rooftops

Before I push you off...........

Was on the phone with my mom a couple of nights ago. She's been getting worried about things in Taman Tun because it seems like more and more people have died from Covid. Taman Tun is a small town. You really know just about anyone there. I also think everyday people die and people die from the pandemic. It's just alarming when things like this happen to the people around you even though you don't know them personally.

I keep telling her to not lose her shit now. Kak Yah has been telling her to keep it together too coz it's one thing if you are down in sickness but losing your motivation and muchness is not going to help in the slightest bit. Also, I keep saying it again and again. If you don't have any business being out and about, you probably should just stay indoors. If you do happen to be out and about amongst other human beings, it's probably a good idea to get rid of your clothes that you wore out and stuff em all into the washer and take a thorough shower before interacting with other people at home.

Why is it that people always feel the need to be outside? Even during a lockdown they feel the need to be out and about doing something absolutely petty like buying kuih. WHY? And seriously, if you have kids, the playground isn't as important as their health and safety. Just stay in.

Eid Adha is coming up. Last year, we drove back to Terengganu coz Shu's parents didn't have anyone to help them with the meat cutting and distribution process. I like going back to Shu's home. It's always so much fun. We haven't been back ever since. There's been lockdowns after lockdowns and Shu's parents are here in their Selangor home anyways. I just miss the drive and scenic views. And sunlight..........

I also am in need to get a haircut. I last cut my hair last year.........in June. Yeah, it's been over a year......I am not one to always spend so much time at the hair salon but I do it yearly coz I hate being idle and away from the kids and Shu. I can't have too complicated of a hairstyle either coz I spend a lot of time working out and doing things like swimming or soaking up the sun and salt water by the beach. I've been giving the kids haircuts anyways. My boys are growing out their hair. Safiyya needs a haircut every once in a while coz her hair gets super long and in the way. Shu has been wanting a haircut but I have been trying to convince him to grow out his hair. He has nice wavy hair. I like it ^_^

Good heavens!

 I look rather ghastly! - my thought almost every morning when I get up late and look into the vanity mirror across my bed. I need sunlight......

Anywho, Shu and I were informed that we would receive our vaccine on the same day and time

Shu's sister offered to have the kids over at her house while we were gone. We got up early...... Well, I didn't really sleep much. We got there super early. Ended up waiting in the car coz they let people in in stages. 

Once we got in, the process was rather quick. I was happy to see a lot of adults taking their parents and getting their shots as well. 

Shu was ahead of me. Funny how years ago before we married, I was teaching some nursing students here. The place have come a long way since I was here last. 

So far, I haven't felt anything strange or different about myself. In fact, I have started my workout routine again today. 

¿Qué pasa?

 Honestly, I'm not sure. I tend to freak out. Shu's doctor friends whom are on the Covid Task Force Team in KL sent a very terrifying video about the actual situation in the Klang Valley. 

It's like what you see when random videos are passed around. The store room becomes the morgue and just outside the door is the waiting area where people are waiting to get treated and there are patients being treated in the same area because the rooms are full.

They said that it's becoming a disaster zone. This problem is very real and as much as I wish I could be confident enough that we can push ourselves to survive, we also need to be vigilant around the people we care about. We need to keep our motivation up.

I've been avoiding from having to go to places like the clinic because I don't want to risk catching anything. I don't think I can go through being separated from the kids and Shu.

This is not the time to be selfish or stupid or both. 

I'm looking rather pale these days.........

 I need some sunshine on my skin. I need some warmth. I've recently developed some form of allergy of somesort. My skin itches and I have little bumps everywhere but due to my "no scratching" nature, I haven't had scars on me nor do I make things worse. They're just itchy.

Been spending the last couple of days on this event

It's so amazing! It started with this video 

https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aYomzmv_460svav1.mp4

Now, all I ever listen to is this

And this

I also have spent so much time.......well,too much time on new theories about the Egyptian mythology and Ancient Egyptian Gods.......but,that's not for here and now............Shu said I should write a thesis about it.........Maybe I will..........

mi guitarra

 

Pretty sure I was 14..........or 18...........

I was in secondary school at this time.........and that's my dad's hand adjusting the mic.......

Jamming at home in my own world..........Yup,secondary school........who took this picture anyways?!

UIA. Definitely!

RadioEdit days.........

Got out of the shower the other day

 And I found this on the bed......

Turns out, it was a delayed anniversary gift from Shu. He ordered it but Gucci couldn't ship it out any earlier coz of the MCO. It's so bright and floral at the same time. I love it ❤️

Safiyya is going through a Dora phase. I made her the Map from an empty kitchen roll the other day. 

And then, me and my scrolling, window shopping mode discovered Dora's Backpack! 

We've been doing a lot of art too...... 

And Safiyya decided to make a totem pole. Today, her surprise gift arrived for sleeping in her own room and going to potty on her own..... She's all grown up...... I'm gonna miss her 😭

Kate is supposed to be mine but I let her play with it. She's finally getting the hang of dress changing when it comes to dolls now 😊