The day we met........

Frozen, I held my breath 
Right from the start
I knew that I'd found a home for my heart.......

I was allowed to hold Yusuf for the very first time on January 28th of 2013. That was exactly a week after he was born. I was the happiest person in the galaxy. I've been waiting for him for so long. I was longing to breastfeed him for so long. It was funny because he and I were trying to adjust to each other.He had never felt my arms before and I was learning to hold on to a newborn.

I stayed at the hospital that night because the hospital wanted me to learn how to cope with him once he gets home. It was quite an experience because I was constantly waking up whenever I heard a baby crying. It wasn't always Yusuf coz there were other babies in the ward. Other babies who were not as lucky as him coz they were all under the UV light despite being able to be with their mothers.

Yusuf recovered. Shu had been going back and forth from TTDI to HKL every single day.Our prayers were answered and Yusuf was discharged, finally. He spent his first night in TTDI and then we moved to Bangi coz my mum's house is full of cats and it may be a problem for Yusuf as he is recovering from lung infection.

My God! I remembered crying so much the night on the day I gave birth. I was so worried about my baby and all I thought about was how it was all my fault. Yusuf came out at 36 weeks of pregnancy. Most babies come out between 38 to 40 weeks. The doctor said he pooped in the womb which may have caused the lung infection in the first place.Babies would only poop in the womb before their due date coz they are stressed.

Anywho, Shu and I are just glad that Yusuf is back home with us now. We spend every single minute of the day watching him sleep and talking to him when he is awake. Shu will spoil him :) I can guarantee that.

birth

I gave birth to a baby boy named Yusuf on January 21st  2013. It was the most beautiful experience. The pain was excruciating at first but as soon as I heard his cry, all the pain was gone. My mum was right. The feeling is indescribable.

Unfortunately, Yusuf was unable to come back home with us. It turns out that he has lung infection and had to be brought to a hospital with equipment that can help him breathe. After making several phone calls, Yusuf's pediatrician was able to get Yusuf a place in HKL. He was rushed with an ambulance there at 2am in the morning. Shu followed him because I was still held back at the hospital.

Yusuf had tubes all over him. His oxygen intake was low. He couldn't even get 80% of oxygen into his body without the help of the machine. I spent the entire night crying. Shu did too. It was horrible because I was waiting for the nurses to bring Yusuf into the ward to be breastfed but instead he was taken further away. We didn't even get to hold him.

Before I was transferred into my room back in the labor room, the nurse brought Yusuf to me just for a kiss on the forehead and then he left.

Shu and I had been visiting him in the hospital everyday. Shu spends a lot of time at the hospital as I need to be confined at home. But I do go to the hospital still because I miss Yusuf and I want to spend time with him. I miss him every single day and I cry for him every night.

We've been praying for him and we just want him to be alright so that he can come home.

He's been recovering and his almost done with his antibiotics. I just want him to be ok :'(