How can I decide what's right.......

When you're clouding up my mind?
I can't win
You're losing sight
All the time
Not gonna ever own what's mine
When you're always taking sides
But you won't take away my pride
No, not this time
Not this time

How did we get here?
I used to know you so well
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know

The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are
If you're a man at all
Well, I will figure this one out

On my own(I'm screaming, "I love you so")
On my own(My thoughts you can't decode)

Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves

There is something I see in you
It might kill me
I want it to be true

-ParamorE-

Anis was the one who introduced me to this band (Paramore) Now I can't get enough of 'em ^_^

been helping Shu finish up his EMS project last night

He and my dad and even one of Qarim's friend were up all night working on taking apart an adaptor and soldering wires and some wood work (for the mounting).The objective was to build a motor.I suck at trying to figure out which way is positive and which way is negative in creating a magnetic field :/ A lot of wires were stripped so we didn't have to buy much stuff.

Shu and my dad carried on working till 4am this morning.

driving

*sigh*

Eversince I've started driving,I realized that a lot of people on the road are either reckless or just a bunch of idiots when they got their license.I doubt if anything they read in the rule book is understood nor do they even know why it is crucial for people to understand the road rules.

Are people aware that every single mirror on the car has its purpose and that there is this called a 'blind spot'?Do people know that they'd have to first turn the signal light on and CLEAR THE ROAD before changing lanes while driving and not just switch lanes after a second of turning the signal light on?Are people aware of the existence of signal lights and that there is a use for it?

My late grandfather once told my mum that when we drive,we are actually driving everyone else as well.

How do we ensure that people who get a driver's license aren't idiots?

:)

Shu's dad called him up yesterday.He was in town.It was funny how he finally blurts out how freaked out he is about us getting married coz Shu just never bothered to talk to his dad properly about it.Last night,Shu stayed over at his sister's place in Bangi where his folks were at.He and his dad finally got to talking.

Now........Shu is freaking out about his folks meeting mine.Hahaha!All this while,it was me who was freaking out in case my mum (or my dad) would behave weird (coz they always had been and since my dad's been home,they sorta get a little bit too much for my brain to take)

?????

I realized that I would make the best yet most cruel ruler ever in the history of mankind.This is because I tend to list out the punishments I'd impose onto people who just cannot make use of justice in general.

For instance,to those who cannot get a job done properly and accepts bribe money at the same time would first be sacked and then be blacklisted for life so that the next job they'd get (if they ever get another job) would have a record of such crime commited by the person.So they'd probably live their lives on probation until the day they die.

Shu was telling me about some bigshot food company who was sued for not dumping their trash properly and polluted some river somewhere.Think about it,as it is,big shot companies get a whole lot more than anything anyone could ever get in a month.Punishing them by making them pay MYR20k would mean nothing to them.They should be put out of business for at least a month and let them learn (if they actually have such ability to do such a thing) from their mistake.

As far as I am concerned,smokers should be punished as murderers because secondary smokers suffer so much more than the smoker himself.Since smoking in public is taken very lightly (especially here where I live) I propose that all smokers should only smoke in a small room with absolutely NO ventilation so that these smokers would inhale the smoke they produce only because the particals of burnt tobacco is so small that it can hardly be filtered.Yes,those so called filters sold at pharmacies are actually bullshit.

*I still have doubts about smoking being makruh.I have a strange gut feeling telling me that it is actually haram in the teachings of Islam*

I really try hard to not think about how unfair it is for people who have passion to save the one and only planet we live on and yet,there are ignorant idiots destroying everything we work so hard to save.How shallow and self-centred can people be?And the worse part is that most of the time,people who do not deserve to be punished gets the worst torment from MotherNature.

*I am still smiling about wud happened at the recent F1 Sepang circuit race.It's as though Mother Earth's timing to react is so perfect*Yes,to those who condone to contributing to such pollution should be punished full force!

Long live Mother Nature!

at last!

isn't it ironic?

The media went all out about Earth Hour and at the same time promotes (macam giler) F1 at the Sepang Circuit.I mean,technology aside.Economy aside.It pollutes the Earth either ways.

I find it kinda sorta strange......don't you?

RadioEdit update!

Kamal-san called earlier today saying that Ayie's workplace has some acoustic thingy going on and he's booking a slot for us.KOOLNESS!!!!!I so need a break now!

sometimes........the only way out is the hardest path to follow.........

It's ok to cry.Sometimes,crying helps clear off the smoke from the frictions of anger you have accumulated over the years.Hopefully you can see and think clearer now.

I'll always be here for you cry out to.

I love you........

Sweep slides on my stereo

Short wave ’round my rodeo
Became from that of Savalon
But I’m flying to Istanbul
Oh so why don’t you meet me … there?
There is no nation of you
There is no nation of me
Our only nation lives in Lucid Dreams
Lucid Dreams I’m living in Lucid Dreams
I’m living on short based dreams tonight

-Franz Ferdinand-

auf achse

It seems like forever waiting for Franz Ferdinand's new album to be released (HERE specifically!!!!) I love their single Lucid Dreams and No You Girls.I still love watching them perform live.I just wish I could see them perform live (HERE specifically!!!!) I'd still watch their videos from Take Me Out to Matinee to Michael to Darts of Pleasure to Do You Want To to Walk Away to The Fallen to L. Wells to Wine In The Afternoon to Your Diary...........Eversince the forum where I'd got all the latest updates (and B-side/rare downloads) from got hacked into and eventually shut down,I've been at a complete lost.I want a fresh new slice of them Franzies!

insanely self-destructive beings

It's quite disappointing to know that a lot of people make such a big fuss about not wanting to be part of saving the earth and the environment but still wants a spot living on this very planet.At the very least,they should be thankful that there are things being done to reduce pollution and the destruction of earth.

People complain about the weather being super hot and that the weather is becoming unpredictably dangerous everyday when they aren't doing anything about it.Little messages on commercials like recycling or things we can do to help reduce pollution are more of reminders but most of the time,people choose to ignore these messages and carry on complaining.

Of course,these are the people whose minds cannot think further than themselves.People whose lives revolve around what they do and their comfort and stuff.Things like how the pollution we fail to stop or reduce causes bigger impacts on other beings like the polar bears losing icecaps for them to cling on on fishes die in the sea or rivers or even mutate becomes a problem for those whose source of food comes from the sea.

I often express my hatred for mankind which had lead me here.Not wanting to save the lives of human beings but instead,I would rather spend my time and effort on saving animals because the live by the code of nature.Human beings destroy.I have no guarantee that the human beings I can save would turn out to be people who care about mothernature.Human beings in general are selfish.

Having said that,I would have to extend my apologies to UNICEF for not being able to help them because I would rather help WWF or SPCA or PAWS.

a cat named Drac

He started off as an ordinary black cat who just happens to come by the house every now and then for food.Then,he decided to stick around for a little more that he's come to be so comfortable at home.He is very manja.Mum thinks that he probably had an owner once but was abandoned or something.That poor thing.He tends to get a little noisy sometimes when he's hungry but otherwise he's alright.Fei Mao loves him which is a sort of reason for us not to kick him out completely.

Once,he came back looking all beaten up.We thought he broke his front left leg but later,he recovered.Today,he came back looking so much worse.My dad freaked out that he told Shu,Ash and I to take him straight to the vet coz he thought Drac was going to die.He lives.The doctor gave him loads of meds to make him better.I got a little scared looking at him shaking in pain on the vet's table but after the jap,he looks so much more alive.

We have to keep him in the cage until he recovers.Hopefully,he hasn't got any fungal infections or anything.Apparently,it's contagious to humans.Hurmm........

perfect timing?

Maybe.......

Shu will be done with his exams once my finals begin.Shu's folks will be coming over on the last day of my examination.My senses tell me that things shall be moving fast forward then onwards.How fast?Not quite sure just yet.

Am I scared?Maybe.A little.I've never done this before.
Am I excited?Yes.Very.

I'll be starting a new life.My role as an individual shall change in many ways.For someone who hardly ever volunteers to take up any form of responsibilities at all,here I am taking up more responsibities than I can ever imagine.

There will be new challenges I shall have to come across and I have only prayers to help me get through them all.I want this and I am aware of the consequences and conditions which I shall be facing.It's not going to be easy and knowing me,always trying to find the easiest way out...........well......this isn't an easy way out.This is a decision.One that I made on my own.I hate making decisions on a daily basis and here I am calling the shots over the biggest decision I can ever make in my life.

Still,there are a few things I am not sure of.I have never planned a wedding before let alone MY own!I have no clue what hantarans are.I don't know what the significance in the number of dulangs are.I can't quite estimate the time needed for the preparations for which ever occassion comes first.The only thing that has already been finalized would be the guest list.It is LONG,that much I can say ;)

butterflies in my tummy

Got up this morning and the first text message I retrieved from my cellphone was from Shu saying that his folks are coming on the 17th of next month to see my folks.For a while,I thought it's April already.

It's strange how we've been having this conversation about us getting married and all.At first,the conversation was only between Shu and I.It was just us getting lost in eachother wanting to take this amazing thing we share one step further.Then,things became serious from the day he spoke to my father asking for my hand in marriage.Eventhough my mum was already planning for preparations and all,she said she wanted to wait till she comes back from the states when Shu's folks finally comes over to discuss what needs to be prepared and all.Now,they are finally coming and we are one step away from deciding when we can finally tie the knot.

Here's the thing,as much as I always oppose every little thing my mum's planned,I have no clue what the procedures are.I have no idea what needs to be done.I have no idea what to prepare.I'd speak to Shu and he'd explain to me what is what and why such things are required.My assignments are finally done and now,this is all that's left for me to think about (apart from revising for the finals of course) Shu once told me that he often wonders what it's like to anticipate the meeting of his folks with mine.Now,he knows...........
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Was late for campus this morning.Had to send my assignment to Dr. Wejdan's office coz it's about 2 weeks overdue.Thanks to Shu's nephew who not only speaks Arabic but has a string of contacts who are Arabic experts who helped me A LOT with my homework,I managed to get my work done and learn a thing or two at the same time.SUH-WEET!


Managed to stop by at Dr. Salim's office to see if he got my paper.I think he was asleep.Haha......


The first dude Shu and I bumped into this morning was Israr who asked out loud if I got up late for class or something.That was funny coz he asked about Shu and the moment I said "he's my fiance actually",he immediately held out his hand and said "oh,fiance!I'll have to shake hands with!" I think that sorta surprised Shu for a bit coz he's heard of Israr from me since we were and are classmates afterall.Haha!

I am currently worrie about Kecik.Something happened to his lower lip and I think he is in pain.Shu and I shall be taking him to the vet tomorrow after my Automotive Skills exam.Hopefully,Kecik will recover.Inspite of being still,he still has the cheek to chase,play around and eventually kill a baby mouse.That mouse was so cute and it was screeching in pain!BAD KECIK!

takoyakified!

Wah.........so nice lor to be able to just kick back a little and know that I don't really have to get up in the mornings as a routine anymore.I was beginning to feel a little sick of the semester halfway through coz I seriously hate routines and it's hard to get up when you haven't really slept properly the night before.Not to mention the backdated assignments and my health not being at its best.It sorta became suckier as the semester ended.I just hope I've learned enough to make it all worth the time and energy I've spent.

Foxburr-san belanja-ed me takoyaki a while ago.He's been wanting to take me there for weeks but we haven't actually had time to go.Finally we did and them takos are ever so yummy!

Oh yeah,the Panda's gear box jammed up AGAIN.It just got back from the workshop a few days ago.Luckily,we were already in TTDI when that happened.Still,it sucks to know that most of the time I spend with that car usually ends up with Shu and I waiting for my folks and a tow truck.

The presentation yesterday morning was funny.Before my groupmates arrived at the class,I was talking to Yunus.He said his groupmates ditched him so he did some analysis on his own.He didn't wanna present coz he said it would be embarassing to go up front and talk about something completely alien from the research carried out by groupmates.His turn finally came and he presented coz his groupmates gave him a paper with the parts he had to present.

Something funnier happened later after the class was over.My groupmates told me that Yunus was arguing with a girl outside the class.What happened was that he got offended by that girl coz she was laughing and talking to her friends as he was presenting.Of course it's rude but I didn't think he'd take it that far.Seriously,I think it sucks even more to be performing with my band on stage and there's absolutely not respond from the crowd.

Anywho,that wasn't really the event of the day.Shu found some stuff on the cellphone he's currently using (which is not his coz he lost his cellphone) that turned out to be quite disturbing.So disturbing that I didn't bother to see.He ended up deleting them all since it was such a disturbing experience to have seen such things.I shall not mention names but I'd like to ask this-WHY?! And of course........eeeeuwie!

I'd lie if I said I didn't study

But when it comes to these sort of things........I'd have to be doing the real thing than just reading it from paper..........and as my gut told me since last night,my task today was to set the engine valves.That meant either very low or no marks for me at all coz of all the practical classes I missed was that particular one and the last thing I could ever do even if my life depends on it would be reading and memorizing automotive tasks without looking at the engine.

Of course,theoretically,I would know that valves involves pistons and combustion but to set it and to somehow know what BDCT meant and still not able to convince my groupmates that we've been doing it all wrong is just a bit hard to believe.Doesn't matter,it's all done now.I'm just gonna have to study for the theory test next week.........same time,same place..........will be missing the workshop...... :/

not my problem,our problem

It sucks to think of the fate of people who go through the toughest crap and still not get any form of justice from anyone anywhere.To think that the problems we face here and now are as tough as any other crap we have gone through whereas other people have bigger problems which may seem like there is no way out but still,these people are the ones who'd carry on living through every second given to them only because hope is the only thing left.At least for them it is.

I personally know single parents (mothers mostly) who gives up more than half of their lives for their children and get the crappiest deals and treatments from social services and the employers they work for.Why aren't any of their problems justified at all?Because we are people who are only concerned with our lives and our problems and that the rest of the world is none of our business?What about people who'd have to work 2 or 3 jobs just so that their kids can live another day?

Then again,maybe these people aren't working hard enough.I dunno.......it's always easier said than done.Working harder than you already can.What would I know?I'm just a student.I don't pay taxes.I don't earn a living.I just observe and hopefully,I'll learn.

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0, The Ashes 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate
............................
.............................




Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.HTML and try to download Tears 6.2. Don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should automatically run applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse of the above applications can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

sangkut

Haih.......and you call yourself a cat?!
Got home and couldn't find Kecik anywhere in the house.He was nowhere outside either.I thought he was just out and about but looking at the time,it was Kecik's afternoon nap time.Then,we heard a cat crying outside.Went outside and saw Kecik on the balcony of our nextdoor neighbour.He got up there but couldn't find a way down.

I managed to get Kecik to step out and guided him to get closer to the gate so that we (either Shu or I) can grab him without having to climb over our neighbour's gate.Unfortunately,Kecik wasn't brave enough to jump down.Ash ran into the house to get a ladder.In the meantime,Shu and I tried to get Kecik to get onto the other neighbour's roof so that we'd have a better chance to getting him down.

Finally,Ash got the ladder.Shu climbed up and managed to grab Kecik by the collar.All us went back home and the first thing Kecik did was to make a run for the litter tray.After that,he ate like he's been starving for a week.That was funny.I wonder how long he was stuck up there.

furui

I always said being sick is the worst feeling in the world.I'm right.It does suck.As much as I don't wanna depend on meds,I have to.Eventhought its not anything serious like drugs,they're still pills.This happened before.I wonder if my whole idea about not eating chicken and beef (and mutton) has got anything to do with it.

I know that eversince I've become a junkaholic which means eating less food and more junk,my immunity system has gone down so much lower than before.I am aware of that.I think that because I haven't gotten around to repairing such damage,my entire system is slowly deteriorating.

Having said that,it also doesn't help that I am addicted to J.Co's Chocomint freeze!Damn it!They cost a bomb and they taste ever so good!I am not upset so much from having to be deprived of sugar,I'm just having a hard time adjusting to the ice-blended-free drinks.Or rather,ice-free drinks thanks to my swollen tonsil.

I am the sickest person living in my home at the moment and my dad doesn't know it AT ALL.Haha!

low blood pressure:round 2

Been sick these past few days.It's quite annoying.Was at the clinic yesterday.My tonsil is swollen again.Told the doctors to give me some antibiotics.Today Shu took me to the clinic again coz I'd get lightheaded everytime I get up in the morning and I'd get nauseous when I'm in the car.Only lately this happens.I figured its got something to do with my blood pressure.I was right.My bp was super low.It was 90/50.The doctor gave me some iron pills.

Strange,this happened a few years ago when I used to not eat........hurmm.......

carbu-what?

The carburetor......ya know,the thing that blends fuel with air for internal combustion in the engine?The creation of fuel injections almost wipe it out completely.Almost..........Nevermind.........

I am just trying to be prepared for tomorrow's presentation.We're not given topics.Instead,we have to choose a topic ourselves.One that is NOT taught in class.Hence,the carburetor.With the help of my groupmates who are engineering students.Hehe.......

I wasn't trying to be the smartypants who chose this topic.I just thought it makes an interesting topic since most cars run on fuel injection engines these days.Besides,everyone said the topic is alright......

Been sick today.....this morning.......couldn't get up.Didn't get up till about 11:48am-ish.That's almost noon.But I got up anyways.Didn't get much work done.In fact,I didn't get any work done at all.Can't think properly with this headache.

throbbing

Mum left with Azim and Qarim at about 6:30 this morning.They probably had just arrived in Stockholm (I think).They're on their way to Michigan to see Eno-san.After all the problems Qarim went through in getting his VISA,he's finally on his wy there already.His SPM results is coming out tomorrow (I think).

In the meantime,I am stuck with classes (still).Will be at home with my dad and Shu till they (mum,Q &A) come back.My grandma will be around the house in the afternoons till about 10pm.Kak Yah comes in the morning and leaves at about 5pm like she always does.My sister and Rashid will be home during the weekends.

I have a band meeting on Saturday at about 4pm over at Ayie's workplace.No idea if there'll be any jamming sessions.

Anywho,my head had been throbbing since morning.I think its migraine.I usually don't get migraines.Maybe its coz I got up superearly this morning (5:30am-ish) and I haven't been able to sleep since my mum left.Managed to get myself to class on time this morning but because my head's been throbbing off and on,I just couldn't go on with classes.Shu is also sick.He's been sick for a few days now.

Sorry,sir.Traffic was horrible.......

It didn't help that I had to drive a different car today (one that is slightly underpowered) and very basic.It didn't matter.It got me to class safely (but late) and it got me home through the rain and the traffic which was caused by idiots who have no idea how to drive in the rain.

*sigh*

Was gonna talk about my band instead.We went jamming last weekend.Rashid was late coz he was stuck in a traffic jam on his way back from the movies with my mum and my other brothers.Shu and I met up with Ayie and Kamal at the studio about 10 minutes before jamming.

The first thing Kamal asked Shu was "do you know how to play the drums?" Nope.Shu is very much a bassist and a guitarist and he doesn't play the drums.I do but I can't play coz I had to sing and having the rythm guitar is important (for me) for timing purposes.

While waiting for Rashid-san,Ayie and Kamal took turns at the drums.Ayie couldn't keep a consistant tempo while Kamal couldn't play along with the high hat.Also,the song was cut short coz Kamal wasn't at his guitar to fill up the guitar solos.

Rashid arrived half and hour later and was slightly pissed off with the movie.He went straight at the drumset and started jamming our playlist.Shu then took pictures with Ayie's DSLR to be posted at our site.We have yet to schedule a proper photoshoot.

Next meeting,4pm,Saturday at Ayie's workplace........makan free???Maybe?

gearbox failure

Nothing scares the shit outta me more than reading "gearbox failure" on the indicator screen while driving!Yes,yes.....it's hard to go about with machines which are smarter than you even when they're not designed in such ways.

*sigh*

Was on my way to class this morning.Shu drove while Ash was in the back seat.We got to the toll house at about 9:35am-ish and just as we passed the booth,the indicator beeped and read out "gearbox failure".That meant that the car wouldn't let us shift into any other gears including setting it to neutral.

*double sigh*

Shu managed to pull over on 2nd gear.There was no way (IN HELL) that we would be able to reset the gearbox (coz Fiat would lose their customers otherwise) and even if we do know how to do it,we might risk resetting the entire system.

So there we were stranded on the roadside from 9:45am all the way to 11:30am.Called my mum coz I didn't wanna risk damaging the car.She was trying to get our mechanic to get a tow truck.Since the car is a regular front wheel drive and it's locked in 2nd gear,we had to wait for a tow truck that could pull the car up instead of having to push it up onto the platform.

Amin Reza decided to cover for me for the quiz this morning.I owe him one.Missed my EAP class at 2pm coz I was getting sick from my empty stomach and the heat and all.Shu was sick and Ash decided to ditch his 2pm class since everyone else voted to have brunch and rest at home till about 2:30pm.

I didn't get much sleep coz I promised my lecturer I'd present my project today.Got a pretty good bashing for about an hour of class time.I worked my ass off (with Shu's help) for that project and it still wasn't good enough.Maybe I failed to cover all the flaws.Maybe I just didn't see the whole thing the way my lecturer did.Oh well.......

Hung around with Shu for a bit.We saw some pretty awesome mini guns which loads on ballbearings!I'd opt for the 0.25mg ballbearings over the 0.12mg!To be fair,both Shu and I shall have to use the same gun.We opted for the AK-47 mini!Yey!New toys to be added to our wishlist!And who are we planning to shoot?.........hehehe.........

P.S.:I think Kecik is still a bit upset with what I did to him this morning.Hopefully,he'll get over it and start hanging out like always again ;)

what now?

Strange how I feel like I haven't gotten anywhere in life.I have obviously exceeded about 7 years of my life now (and counting).I don't know if it's because I just wanna do a whole lot of things but haven't quite got the time to do it or I'm simply not given the chance to do them.Either ways,I think my ultimate issue would be my I-Don't-Give-A-Damn attitude.I just couldn't give a fuck about some shit and no matter how hard people try to make me change my mind about it,I just can't.I'll do what I want,when I want to and I don't care what you say coz if I don't wanna do it then I ain't gonna do it.

The whole "you HAVE TO" or "you MUST" shit doesn't quite work on me.Unless of course,I'm getting cash everytime I do it.Haha!It's just unfair ain't it?Life,I mean.There's just so many things we CANNOT DO and so many things that we HAVE TO DO but the bottom line is,it doesn't really change anything to begin with.So why bother?

anywhere everywhere

Was checking out this new mall over at PJ called Tropicana Mall (or something) yesterday.It's a new mall and they haven't even started charging for parking lots.That was cool.Shu and I just had trouble looking for a place to eat.

Today was a rather long-ish day.Had class this morning which ended at 11am.Shu and I managed to have brunch and then we had to get back to campus coz I had a meeting at 1pm for my automotive skills presentation.It was quite frustrating coz we're not quite sure who our group members are and only 3 of us turned up-Intan,Atikah and I :/ That didn't take long.

We headed straight to Bangi later on to get the program (which Shu REALLY3 NEEDS) from one of Shu's classmates.Transferred it and all and we headed home.We had to get home in time for our assignment tonight which was to send some stuff over to my aunt's place.

That plan changed as well.We ended up taking Kecik with us all the way to a restaurant near my aunt's place to meet up with my uncle,my aunt and my cousin who went out for dinner.After that we headed over to my aunt's place.Kecik was introduced to my aunt's little kitten (who is not a male!)

Kecik hates that kitten!Hahahaha!We had a good laugh watching those 2 felines going about with one another..........

Oh yeah,Xaibo aka Asyraq called me yesterday.He wanted to know if I'll be at home this weekend coz he wants to come over to pass something to my mum for Eno.We have a lot of catching up to do.I was shocked to find out that he's broken up with his girlfriend.He was shocked to hear the news that Shu and I are getting married.

It's funny talking to Xaibo coz he and Eno are batchmates (back in KYSM) and Shu was their senior back in school.Since Xaibo was quite close to Eno-san,he knew and heard a lot about me especially after Shu and I got together.My gawd!I am sure to be seeing a whole bunch of ex-KYSM students at my wedding!Here's the worst part,I probably don't know most of them as much as they know me!

KERO!

so this is how it feels to let it go to let it fall apart

Here's the truth about everything that's been going down in the last couple of months.I am slowly deteriorating.Very soon,I might just self destruct.I can't do this anymore.It's hard to talk to myself or to talk to Kecik for that matter.He doesn't say anything.He probably doesn't know what's been happening.

I am not paying attention in classes.Well,except for Arabic coz its a language subject.I can't think of writing my EAP paper eventhough I already have an outline with drafts and stuff.I am failing some subjects for midterms and quizzes.I have trouble paying attention especially to stuff which aren't really comprhendable.

I am alone and I don't know where I'm going.I wish to say goodbye for good.I can't stand this world I live in.There's too much pain and I cannot do anything to stop it.I can't even make my own pain go away.I too am counting down the days till this world finally breaks apart.I hope I won't live long enough to have to live through that.I have enough on my back as it is.

I don't know why I keep trying so hard at a lot of things.I can't do it.I should have known.I am not as strong as I thought I was.I am not as smart as I always hoped to be.I can't keep up.I keep getting stuck and talking to other people makes me feel like I am speaking a different language altogether.One that no one understands.

project total annihilation

I often wonder why is it that I despise human beings so much.I am ashamed to say that I am one.It's annoying coz for a being designed.......created with a lot of advantages,we pretty much messed up BIG TIME.

Firstly,we can't live in peace with one another.Always finding eachother's faults and flaws and killing eachother and always trying to make the other person fall.We are a whole bunch of destructive creatures living together.When we're done destroying one another,we'd destroy Mother Earth until there's nothing left.

Yesterday,my lecturer said he doesn't like rain because it causes flood and destroys a lot of things.There is absolutely nothing wrong with rain.It's what people have done to nature that causes flood and stuff.It's called nature for a reason.Duh!

Apart from being destructive and all,we can't help but not progress in life.We become less and less intelligent as time goes by.I think the minds of people in general are deteriorating.There's no advancement at all.Because we are shallow in thinking,we only look at progress in the light of physical development and nothing more.

The mind is a very powerful tool.We tend to forget that.So instead of thinking of issues that matters where living is concerned,we think we are being advanced by building and creating things which doesn't benefit us much.Most of the time,it just costs a lot.Yeah you'd probably feel a wee bit more intelligent.Truth is,you're not that far ahead in life.

We are human beings.We destroy.

sunrays through the clouds

Another rainy day.Another time getting soaked in the pouring rain from having to run to the car.Another lepak session with Lina-san after Mazlan-sensei's class.

It was funny how I bumped into Israr and asked if it's safe to run to the car with all the lightning and stuff.I don't trust my slippers (coz I doubt if the bottoms are rubber) I might have been the perfect conductor for the highly charged electricity to earth!

No,I was NOT struck by lightning and condemned to doom!

WTF?!

I am officially screwed.NOT LITERALLY!Got up this morning and felt like the whole world is gonna come down on me.It didn't.Except for the part where I realized how crappy my performance is for certain classes,I think my day turned out pretty well.

For starters,Mazlan-sensei did NOT kill me for NOT showing up for class last week!I have a particularly good reason for that.NOT an excuse!

I enjoyed Nadia's presentation.I don't have the guts to do what she did for her presentation!Kudos to Nadia-san! ^_^ No,I did NOT volunteer to present for next class.Not up for it.And NO,I do NOT volunteer.It takes too much effort.

Haha!

Was talking to Lina about men and infidelity and how stupid they are when it comes to doing what's right. *sigh* It's hard to speak to people who haven't the slightest idea what they are talking about.With weak understanding and poor arguements,they can never make me understand what it is they learn and what they fail to comprehend. *more sighing*

And then,my mum was crying after watching the clip of that 15-year old kid who got beat-up by his seniors in school.Keywords:unbecoming,uncivilized,lack of civic consciousness.Failure in education system?Maybe.But what exactly shapes the mentality of the society?How do you educate people who cannot be taught anymore?

For example,the difference between someone who is educated and someone who is not,someone who wants to be educated and someone who refuse to be educated.Upbringing.The word justification is very subjective.Maybe different people have different ways in justifying themselves.

Some people feel like violence is a solution.Some people don't.At one end,my sister and I thought boarding schools are fucked up coz the kids are pressured into getting themselves "disciplined" but actually they are not.That isn't entirely true.I came from a day school.The kids are still fucked up.

I remember my disciplinary teacher back in school told us all that we are a bunch of cowards for having to bring our "gang" along when it comes to confrontations and shit like that.Why risk getting yourself and your future for one stupid minor problem?Why not make an everlasting impact to that other person?Why not call upon Hell Girl?<---NOT a solution.

I think the objective of getting even is to come out as the winner WITHOUT losing anything.I am almost done thinking of all the shit that goes about in this world I live in.Like the other day in the news when all these so called "rempits" beat the shit out of a dude.Having to deal with such creatures,you have to at least try to see things the way they do.I can't.I am not one of them and I refuse to see what they see.To me,they are as unbecoming as any human being can be.I am not helping at all.I know.

On the not-so-brighter side of the world,went to see Kamal at the hospital but he was alseep so my mum,my brothers and I just left the tin of bicuits with a note at his side and left.I hope he gets better SOON!RadioEdit CANNOT afford to lose THE guitarist!

theater fest@UNITEN

I am really not up for classes.Especially with the results I got today.I've been studying but maybe I didn't study hard enough.Maybe I read all the wrong things.Maybe I got confused.Who knows.


I'm really tired and sleepy now.


Got up earlier than usual for class today.Started the day off by helping Shu catch Kecik.He crossed the road and almost got hit by a car.My mum was wondering why Shu was running across the road.Should have known better.That little orange furball has knowledge of the world across the road now!It wouldn't be so worrying if he's actually careful when crossing roads.The thing is,he's not.He is completely oblivious!And cars on that road would speed like crazy.


Anywho,Shu ended up not going to class coz it turns out that he hasn't got any.Except for that lab session he missed this morning coz he couldn't get up on time.He had trouble sleeping last night.He called me up on my cellphone while I was asleep at about 1am.Gave him a wake up call at 6:45am and he was already up.Apparently,Kecik woke him up at 6:30am-ish coz he wanted to go out.Thinking that he sounded wide awake,I went back to sleep and got up at 8am.There were no messages on my cellphone.I assumed Shu fell asleep.He did.He just got out from the shower when I went downstairs to iron some stuff.


Had breakfast with my folks for a bit and then Shu,Ash and I left for campus.It's pretty cool to be early for classes again.I've been trying to get out from the whole mess with the finance unit.I don't ever wanna have to go through that shit ever again!

Didn't miss any classes today!Sugoi ne?!

Hung around with Shu and helped him clean up his place while waiting for nightfall<---kikikiki (laughing like Kururu) The play began at 8:15pm-ish but since it was raining......well,with the lightning and all,we decided to stay in till the weather subsided.Had dinner at UP10 and then Shu escorted me home till the KJ lrt station,then we went our seperate ways *sob sob*

Funny news I got from mum when I got home.Kamal had been admitted to the hospital near my house.He didn't tell anyone.Not even Aunty Intan coz he said he didn't want to worry his mum :/ He actually went through a surgery!No wonder he didn't reply my text messages yesterday.Well,until he recovers,there won't be any basking or jamming sessions for RadioEdit.

Walkürie

Went to watch Valkyrie.I must say,I love the movie (especially the dude who portrayed Adolf Hitler!) I love the suspense build-up.I love the plotting and all......the setting,the costumes.........everything was just awesome.I was a wee bit disappointed with the fact that the actors did NOT speak Deutsch.Ok,Cruise did say some stuff in Deutsch at the beginning of the movie but he spoke with his American accent!Meanwhile,the other actors spoke with an English accent!They are SUPPOSED TO BE GERMANS!At LEAST have a Deutsch accent eventhough they don't speak the language!

Oh yeah,we (Shu and I) watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button after my class this morning.I am not a fan of Fitzgerald but the movie was not bad.Some parts are a bit slow but it was nice.

I love the fact that we finally got time out to watch those 2 movies coz we've been wanting to watch them since they first came out but we were swarmed with work.It doesn't feel so bad to not do anything work-related sometimes.

Was at my aunt's place for dinner.My uncle found a kitten in a drain somewhere near my aunt's place while we were hanging out at the porch.It must be less than a month old.Maybe slightly more.He (I assume it's a male kitten) was hungry and cold so we brought him in and fed him a little.He got comfortable when we left.That's a good sign.Hopefully,he'll stick around.I call him Hitler coz he has a white face but there's this black line under his nose which looks like a moustache ^_^ He's chomel!

7 facts you may not know about me

• I wrote my first song when I was 15 or 16 years old.
• I'd go with my acoustic guitar over the electric guitar anytime.
• I fell in love when I was 17 and I am ever so thankful to be given a second chance to carry on loving this person now and insyallah for many years to come.
• I am an animal lover.
• I was suppose to have another sister (apart from Wani) but my mum had a miscarriage.
• I am afraid of heights and small spaces.
• I love doing my own thing (on my own) than going along in groups (big or small).

7 things that scare me

• losing the people I love
• heights
• small spaces
• things that can sting
• playing a show and my guitar string snaps in the middle of the show.DAMN IT!I hate it when that happens during jamming sessions!
• not being able to do the things I like
• losing my freedom

7 songs that I like most

• 7 is way too few to be narrowed down.I'm a music lover.Can't select songs coz all songs are different and unique in their own way.........

7 phrases that I say the most

• What The FUCK?!
• Move bitch,get outta my way! (when I'm driving)
• Whatcha dooooin'?
• Kiotsuke!Me wo kuishibare!
• Pekopon-JIN/Pekopon!
• Baka!
• Kore wa KANTOI desu!

7 of my precious things

• my guitar
• my band
• my music files
• my cables
• my distortion pedal
• my notebook
• cars (in general regardless if I drive them)

7 memorable first times

• the first time I met Shu
• my first date with Shu
• my first kiss
• my first jamming session in a band
• my first time playing a song I wrote in public
• my first time driving
• my first time watching Avril Lavigne LIVE IN KL (with SHU!)

7 friends to tag

• Shu
• you readers (maybe more than 7 peeps huh? ;p)

thanks to 2nd Class Private Foxburr-san...........

My long fought battle with the finance division is over.I swear that they need a major make over of their system.It's completely fucked up.Not to mention the trouble they caused me (a hundreds of other students).To think that they have the cheek to say crappy shit like "oh,she's a 4th year student.She should already know how to go about this" Here's the thing,if I have to pay 5 times the minimum rate of being blocked/barred from pre-registering my subjects,doesn't it seem a bit screwed up that they waited till the amount came up to 5 times the minimum amount of getting blocked?

5 TIMES THE MINIMUM AMOUNT!

Of course,things like how the hell am I supposed to withdraw such a HUGE amount of cash in a day just to get my name cleared off never crossed their minds.........

*sigh*

So,after hanging around not being able to do anything at all at about 11am this morning,my mum finally called me and changed the plan completely.Shu and I headed home to get the cash from my mum.Banked in the stash and we could only get started on settling the entire mess at 2pm onwards coz the Finance Unit closes for lunch break at 12:30pm.

*more sighing*

Shu actually helped me by getting a headstart at lining up at the finance unit.I had a class at 2pm for crying out loud!Have they no idea how many classes I have sacrificed in order to get this crappy mess out of my head?!Bakara Pekopon-jin!

Thank you so much for helping me out today,Foxburr-san!

de arimasu!

after much deliberation.........

I shall die with honor in Mazlan-san's class tomorrow........de arimasu!..........or maybe not.Hahaha!I've had a rather funny semester.It was my first time taking Arabic classes and of all things to do,I had to do Arabic 2 without doing the 1st Arabic class all coz I couldn't get into the damn class.Later on,I found out that Dr. Wejdan is also teaching the Arabic 1 class :/

Anywho,there are only 8 of us in that class.Well,before this there were about 13 of us.2 got kicked out for certain reasons.1 dude just disappeared after about half a month of classes.Dr. Wejdan's sarcasm is just awesome!Also,he'd sometimes blurt out funny things only coz my classmates are a bunch of goof.

Earlier in the semester,I thought EAP was gonna be the ultimate highlight coz I really suck at writing academic stuff.Dr. Salim is actually pretty laid back.He doesn't really pressure us with work.Instead,he'd be telling us a whole bunch of stories in class.

My Fiqh class are on Mondays,Wednesdays and Fridays.10am till about 11am.I've never taken classes with Dr. Affandi before.Turns out,he is one funny dude.He draws a lot and he loves placing bets when it comes to answering questions in classes.Usually,he'd bet on things he knows we aren't really sure of.His drawings are usually completed with names and fine details.

The other class I'd usually miss is Dr. Chuah's Methods of Da'wah.I think it's coz it drags on till about 1:20pm and I have Arabic at 2pm on the same day.

As much as it sucks to get up super early on Saturday mornings,I really3 lurve going for my Automotive Skills class.I've learned so much in that class and I never regret asking questions about cars coz I'd never know otherwise.My instructors are superkool people and I am getting quite comfortable around the Engineering Workshop ^_^

Anywho..........Qarim's VISA might not get clearence coz he's not in school and he's not working.He might get left behind and my mum will be leaving on March 12th with Azim.That would really suck!

i'm not rajin........

I'm just slowly slacking off.Sorta.Was dead tired this morning so I decided to sleep-in a little longer.Missed 2 classes this morning.Can't miss Arabic later at 2pm.Anxious and eager both at once.

Hahaha!

I don't think I'll be sticking around for the gathering.I have to get home and start working.

Yes,the invasion on Pekopon has begun!Watch your backs,Pekopon-jin!

just as I was about to look forward to a calmer week.......

I have to attend a mass gathering at 5pm tomorrow and it's compulsory!Leh mo kao cho ah?!!!!!!!I'm planning to just turn up for a while and head home......or something..........

Hah!After all the headache I went through last weekend doing all the work and presentation and studying for Monday and Tuesday,I have to brace myself for more work to come in the coming week T_T

It doesn't help that while doing my Arabic midterm,I had the Keroro Gunsou song playing over and over in my head!I don't do well when it comes to thinking without scribbling on some paper........couldn't do that on the Arabic question paper coz we had to write our answers in it and then pass it up.Still,I think I scribbled a bit of hiragana here and there.........and probably some one-word questions in romaji!

This morning,I was trying to write the groupwork paper properly but the voice of Hang Tuah (Stephen-Rahman Hughes) from PGL The Musical kept playing over and over in my head coz I woke up with the song he sang throughout the Malacca theme..........NVM............

I really need to get Keroro's voice out of my head!Tamama's too!

Gunsou-SAN!!!!!!!!!!

gomene......

Tried to sleep-in this morning.Couldn't do that.Had so much to do.Shu was up early eventhough he's been studying all night right up till 4am.He helped me a lot today.Got my Computer Applications homework done.Studying Arabic every now and then in between doing my other assignments.I have a midterm tomorrow and I have a presentation at noon.Good luck to me.I have a good mind to not turn up for class on Tuesday.I would.Believe me,I would.

I'm worried about Shu's condition.He said he pulled a muscle while playing badminton the other day.Then,today he said he can't put pressure on his right leg.He looks so much in pain when ever he walks so I keep telling him to sit down.Funny thing is,I was the one who played badminton with bare feet.He couldn't have possibly cracked a bone coz his leg isn't swollen.I just hope he'll get better.

We're both suffering from a severe back pain thanks to sitting at the computer all day trying to finish off work and stuff.My work,mostly.

Oh yeah,my uncle called me and told me to head over to my aunt's place ASAP coz Aunty Maz was home alone and she said she saw some people trying to break into the house and that she was scared.Shu and I headed over to my uncle's place to get him and then we went to my aunt's place.By the time we got there,my aunt was already home from work and Aunty Maz said that the police had already checked the place and left.

Thank God nothing happened........

Kecik has finally learned the art of climbing over the walls and the gate.Now,he spends his nights climbing the tree outside.I just hope he won't get stuck.His eyes have turned gold-ish now and sooner or later,he won't be so kecik anymore.Ezuan says that he's fat now.He's long-ish and bigger but probably not fat eventhough he eats so much more than the other cats in the house./

pekopon-jin!

Last night was a blast!Shu and I got tickets to the 3rd season of PGL The Musical about a month ago,the night finally came and inspite my crazy schedule and all the crappy things that's been going on about school,I am just glad that we both enjoyed ourselves ^_^

I went to watch the musical last year but I sat higher up at the balcony.This time around,Shu picked some suh-weet spots for us.Got to to watch the play up- close.I could actually see (and hear) the musicians play live music throughout the entire show!And of course,I saw every single detail of the costumes and props!

Got home at about midnight and I think I finally got some sleep at about 1am.Got up at 6:45am this morning for my automotive skills class at 8am.Now,I am studying for the midterm paper tonight.Maybe I should sleep-in for a bit tomorrow morning and then start studying for my other midterm paper on Monday.......then again,I do have a presentation at noon on that same day.Hmm......I guess I'll be kissing that sweet ol' sleep-in goodbye!

Oh yeah!And that DVD assignment is due on Tuesday!

Watashi wa penat desu!

troublemaker:framed

Rashid's cellphone ended up on the roof outside his room window.He suspect that it was Kecik's doing.As much as I doubt it,it is a possibility because Kecik has been biting and dragging Ravi all over the house so he might have tried doing the same thing with Rashid's cellphone.Who knows.Kecik has anger management problems and he has a different personality when the sun goes down.God knows if he is actually a cat to begin with!

I used to have time to observe and then think over the things I see

I just have way too many things to do these days and they are mostly school-related.As much as I want to just not care about them,I know I just can't........

Then again,one of the other reasons I just couldn't bring myself to be serious about the things around me anymore is because watching or reading news would either annoy the shit outta me or it would just ruin my day.

For example,my mum and I were at the bank tonight and when we stepped out,a boy gave us salam.He's only 14 and he's from a school all the way in Port Dickson.He was there trying to sell us some balm in order to help him get money for his school or something.When my mum asked,he said his teacher was coming to get him and he has school in the morning.I don't know about my mum but I felt really sorry for the poor kid.

I often wonder what I could do to prevent kids from having to do such things regardless if they are orphans (or not).I just think it's completely unfair for the kids.And then,I saw some kids doing some street dance thingy on TV while I was at Aunty Intan's.Kids who probably have nothing else better to do.Ok,dancing in public places is harmless.But I do wonder if that is all they ever do coz I've seen some kids younger than those on that show who are working so hard to earn a living.

I don't like watching kids having to do things they aren't supposed to do like begging or doing odd jobs when they are supposed to be in school.Why are there still kids out there living at a minimum and having to pay a price for something which is not their fault to begin with?Most kids don't have a choice but to work I suppose while other kids just give up either coz they already have what they need or simply because they just don't care.

ki o tsuke!me o kushibare!

I had a blast today.Went to class as usual.Had lunch with Lina and Diba over at Calypso.It was a long lunch.We were laughing and chatting and laughing.Diba is superfunny.Then,I headed back to campus coz I had to go see Mazlan-san about my homework.On my way there,I bumped into Akmal and Naimah.They sang me a birthday song at the corridor!

Anywho,headed over to UNITEN after that.Shu made plans for the evening and he had already requested for permission from my folks about a month ago.He said that his plans were only supposed to begin at about 7:30pm-ish but since there were last minute changes,we met up at about 4pm.

We didn't do much in the day but at about 6pm,we headed over to Mutiara Damansara.Shu took me to Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. for dinner.I've never been there.The food was supernice!Oh yeah,their traditional birthday celebration may not exactly be like Uncle Chillies or TGIF but I still had to stand on a chair and shake my booty!I'll upload a video soon........hik hik hik<---laughing like Kururu

kerokerokerokerokerokerokerokerokerokerokerokerokerokerokerokerokerokero

what a thing to do the moment the clock hits 12!

I was getting annoyed by Kecik who now conveniently comes into my room as and when he pleases.He was doing some really weird things like sniffing and licking the floor.Then,he started sniffing my guitar case.After that,he started messing up my room,toppled over the laundry basket and stuff.I got annoyed so I sent him out.He cleverly pushes the door open and makes his way right back into my room.I decided to put him a little further than before but as soon as I drop him onto the floor,he runs back into my room before I could get to the room door!

Shu said it's probably a way for him say Happy Birthday to me.Thanks!

Shu was the first to call to wish me the moment it turned February the 17th.LinZy and Stitch text me right after that but my damn network has expired so I can't reply any text messages nor can I make any calls!DAMN!My sister called at about 12:40am.She has a paper in the morning.

I had a fun but very tiring day.Went to classes as usual.Didn't miss any of them and I didn't miss out on anything from missing classes last week.Also,my arabic lecturer didn't mind that I missed his class last week.Seriously,I had a severe headache.I went straight to bed the moment I got home.

Anywho,went over to Cyberjaya with Shu to get LinZy.Her apartment is nice.The thing is,there a loads of nice apartments there which is selling at a quite reasonable price.It's just that Cyberjaya is all the way at one end of the universe so I'd probably get cut off from the rest of the world and if I were to go to the city for gigs or whatever,I'd have to pay tolls and more tolls.If and unless I work there in the future then I probably would consider living there.

Oh yeah,got LinZy-san and since she got her first paycheck already,she belanja-ed Shu and I for late lunch.The food was good!We headed back to campus to catch the Nusantara Theater Week's first play.Ash was part of the cast.Shu and I couldn't stay long coz I wanted to make sure that there are still trains for Shu to take back to his place.

I'm tired now but I have some things to do finish before going to bed.........Kecik is still acting weird and scaring the shit outta me!

ai kotaba wa!afro gunsou!

AFRO!GUNSOU!3!2!1!FIRE!

Today must be Kecik's worst day ever!Early this morning,he was scolded for climbing up onto the dining table and then spilling a whole cup of coffee.Shu said my sister was the one who freaked him out.Still,mum wasn't happy with what happened.

Then,Shu and I took him to the park to go get Azim from his archery class.We let Kecik run around for a bit but when he got super insane all of the sudden and ran under a car,we picked him up.Shu said he has to take a bath coz he messed up his fur and his feet was covered with mud.

Shu went ahead and bathed the little furball.He wasn't very pleased with that.Then,as Kecik was happily cleaning and drying his fur,he got another shock coz my dad's friend started his huge bike that made Kecik jump.

irashimase!

Was on campus at 8am this morning only to find out that no one was at the automotive skills booth.The group leaders fail to inform us to head over to the workshop to get some tools and car parts before going to straight to the booth.It doesn't matter.All my instructors were there anyways.Managed to help out a little.There was games and all but by noon-ish,I got super tired,hungry and sleepy so Shu and I headed out to get food and went home.

Shu shot some arrows at the archery club booth.We saw some performance by the wataniah club.It was kinda weird and funny but it was entertaining.Of course,I enjoyed watching the performance by the gamelan club.Well,it wasn't a gamelan performance but the same people performed music using all those traditional musical instruments.Shu and I tried to climb up the ladder tower thingy built by the scouts but after on step,I decided to go back down coz I do have problems with heights.Shu then totally nailed the ps2 car racing game back at my booth but we had to leave anyways so after the preliminaries.

I slept from 4pm-ish all the way to about 6:30pm.I couldn't sleep last night.I don't know whether it was because it was too hot or whatever but as soon as I was about to doze off,Rashid called me asking me to open the house door.It was 12:50am.He got back from jamming.Shu was already fast asleep.

Well,getting up at 6:30am wasn't so bad after all.I think my day went pretty well.Too bad I couldn't stay on till the end of the whole event on campus today.

bakara PEKOPON!

Couldn't get to class this morning.The roads were closed.I think it was because of the stupid Le Tour crap.Just because a bunch of people are competing over something that hardly makes a difference in the lives of other people,a whole bunch of other people who has to go to work or school are held up on the roads coz the traffic police closed almost every single exit.WTF?!

Oh yeah,Shu and I are gonna give Kecik a piece of our minds later!He ran to the roadside and almost got knocked down by a car.......or some cars for that matter.Cars move really2 fast on the road opposite my house and for Kecik to pull a stunt like that,he was lucky that the first car slowed down coz he would have been gone.Shu and I shall put up a signboard on the roadside that says "PLEASE SLOW DOWN.CATS CROSSING"

attention world!

SPCA has loads of new kitties up for adoption!Very chomel too ^_^ Please go check them out and give them a proper place to live.They really3 need your support.It doesn't take a lot to help save a life.Also,they'd make good company ;)

http://www.spca.org.my/locations.htm

seeing shades of sakura pink

It's such a beautiful flower and it is definitely the perfect theme!

I've been designing......thingys........invitation cards.......rings.........haven't gotten around to the clothes yet............

Fell asleep on my bedroom floor in the afternoon.I've been supertired and supersleepy.I am getting a bit sick of campus these days.Finally picked up the acoustic guitar and worked on some new tunes.

Shu's friends told him they enjoyed our performance and our songs the other night.That's good.We've been wanting to hear what people have to say about our songs rather than watch us perform only coz we're playing music.WE NEED a BLOODY DEMO!Actually,I was thinking of getting an EP out but our songs are a wee bit too hard to choose in order to be put into an EP coz every song is different.We'll sort that out later in the week.

I am on duty to look after the automotive skill booth on Saturday.8am-1pm.Since we only have 2 time slots to choose from,I figured that Sunday nights are always meant for jamming sessions.It's good enough that we were given a choice.I'm really trying to help out my mates.I just don't get those who'd use midterms as excuses.WTF?!Everyone has midterms and important things to do as well!

jakun FidZy!

Yey!So this is what Mazlan was talking about when he said getting wired to the university network in my car on campus!How cool is that?!Well,cool but not cool coz only some parts of the campus grounds has good signals......

I haven't been getting enough sleep and I am constantly doing research on something pertaining to the huge bulk of assignments I have get done ASAP!

Joke of the week:(introducing my bandmates on stage while performing the other night)On lead guitar,Kamal.......Rashid on the drums.....both are from UiTM.......only Shu is from UNITEN........and I am from........(long pause) somewhere........

In-sanity person/cat of the week:Still Kecik........

I need to get my head straightened out today.Can't go on like this.I have a month and a half more till the semester ends!Damn it!

sometimes......everything is just too much to take......

For me it is.I feel like the things that I wanna do in life are simple.The fact that they intertwine with other things.......related things which supposedly we could do without in order to not make things complicated exist and that we may have to depend on it coz we're made to do so just fucking pisses me off.

I am talking about a very specific thing here.Still,it could be applied to most other things we go through.

I'm sick of crying and still unable to make things better.I try so hard to just brush them aside and pretend that it doesn't bother me but I can't.Coz it does bother me and for as long as I cannot just learn to adapt and compromize,I can't move from this spot.It kills me.A lot.I can't imagine what it's gonna be like after this.

I don't want to take action over something really huge just because I have to.I wanna do it coz I want to.Right now,I know I want to but there's just so many things I would have to consider........and probably reconsider.

Is this what growing up does to a person?Drives them mad coz of things which cannot be avoided?

Mazlan's class never fails to make me laugh

I was on the verge of skipping his class today but Lina said I shouldn't coz I had no reason to do so.True.I was just exhausted beyond words.Haven't slept properly since yesterday coz I kept thinking about homework and midterms.Then again,Mazlan-san never fail to amuse me and that keeps me going.Just as we handed in our assignment,he gave us our second assigment which I must say......is rather difficult to comprehend.Lina and I already see ourselves heading over to his office every other day we can (with or without anything for him to check) ;)

Had a good lepak session with Lina today.It was raining super heavily and I was freezing the whole time.Cold weather takes up a whole lot of energy coz the body is trying its very best to keep us warm.That's why I love running in the rain........

Anywho,I've been thinking about a lot of things and so many things gets messed up in my head.I was trying so hard to find a way to convey these mixed thoughts and feelings I've been keeping to myself for so long.I finally sorted them all out into words.The timing was just perfect.I was talking to the right person at the right time and that lead me to asking so many more other questions about where I'm headed with all these big decisions I am making or I am about to make.I wouldn't say I've got it cleared out already.I am still trying to find the best solution for this particular emotional landslide.

Either ways,I'm gonna have to come to a decision in the end.I am still going to be the one to call the shots at the end of the day.I just can't decide now.I'm tired and my mind is still full of thoughts from Lina and my mum as well as the judgements I've made.

laughing out loud alone

Hahahahahaha!

In case you were wondering (Mr Foxburr) THIS was what I've been laughing at all night long :D

I am,yet again,at the verge of insanity.It's only Monday for crying out loud!Let's not talk about work shall we?.........

I have the purrfect subject in mind:Kecik! aka Little Psycho........

Of all the cats that's been living here at my house,he is the first and probably the only one who likes water.It's weird.He'd jump right in whenever he sees any bathroom doors opened in the house!And (like myself) he lurves getting soaked in the rain.It's no wonder he smells really bad compared to Fei Mao!

And he tends to get all crazy at times.He's so out of his mind that you can't even touch him without getting bitten or scratched!There are times when he'll be chasing his tail and wrestling with it all around the floor.That's just funny.He gets scary when he grabs Ravi (his stuffed dog toy) and drags him all around and attacks it again and again like it's some sort of anger management therapy.

Anywho,I can't imagine him doing his own little lion dance........oh wait a minute......I can........

99.5% there! ;)

I am supertired right now.Got up really late this morning.I think Shu called me 6 times but I didn't get up.Finally,at about 11:30am,my mum unlocked my room door and told me to get out of bed.

The thing is,of all things for me to do on Saturday mornings is having to get up at 6:45am and hit the shower!And of all things to happen during class yesterday was having to squeeze in 2 lessons at one go.I don't mind the part where I had to get under the car to take out the rear absorbers.Actually,I don't mind having automotive classes at all.I just got tired later in the day.

Took my aunty out to the mall coz she wanted to get her PC and she (like myself) has no time to do leisurely things during the week days.A promise is a promise.Shu and I took her to the computer store and finally she got herself the computer she wanted at a reasonable price (thanks to Shu's negotiating technics ;)

She then insisted on having a drink with us.So we did.After that we rushed back to clean ourselves up and get ready in time for the kenduri over at Aunty Intan's place.It ended at about 11pm-ish........well,we (Shu,myself as well as my brothers) helped clean up where ever that needed cleaning up.

Anyways.......got up and finally got dressed at about noon-ish today.Headed straight for aunty's place coz she needed help setting up her PC.At the same time,we had to get there before she left for the airport coz Anas Bananas was leaving for Penang at about4pm-ish.

After a quick lunch with my aunty,Anas and Aunty Maz,Shu and I decided to head over to Gloria Jean's at The Curve coz Lin's sister-Yan,is working there.I thought I should just go over to say hey to her.Spent some time there on my notebook,getting some work done.Then,we were gonna just stroll a little bit before going home but something happened..........I heard drumming and cymbals.........there was a lion dance performance!I grabbed Shu and ran straight for the stage area!It was awesome!Later on,as we walked some more,we heard more drumming upstairs.Yamaha BeatSpot had some blessing ceremony going on in front of the shop so we stayed on to watch.We headed over to Ikano for a bit.Got into a card designing shop.Hah!We got some pretty good ideas on our wedding invitations cards from there :p

Anywho,we walked some more and heard drums and different form of cymbals.There was a Dragon dance/blessing ceremony happening upstairs.That was fun.I've never seen a Dragon dance before.
I'd say my Chinese New Year isn't so bad this year..........well,not as bad I supposed.We did get home in time to catch a breather before the jamming session at 8:30pm.Ayie shall not be performing with us looking at his father's condition.We agreed that he should prioritize him more than anything should he is not able to carry on anymore.In the meantime,Shu will be our sessionist for the grad night which by the way,shall be happening this Friday at
Palace of The Golden Horses!

I am so very worked up on this show coz eventhough we know our songs well,anything can happen and we must all take really careful steps in getting there.We'll be jamming over at LabRat in Shah Alam on Thursday night.
Until then,hopefully all goes well with everyone..........may the year of the Ox open some new doors for us all ;)

happy birthday Aunty Intan

It's been 2 years since Izwan passed on.Aunty Intan still cries remembering him.She cried still during the kenduri tonight while we recited the Yasin.Kamal,Farah and Faizal just won't show how much they miss their littlest late brother.Seeing all those familiar faces of my juniors from school reminds me of the day Izwan died.Minus the part where Kamal was sitting alone outside on the couch staring blankly into space.I still see Izwan in my head.When he's hanging out with us.With his guitar at the studio.When I picked him up from his house that morning for him and Rashid's band's BOTB soundcheck.I didn't see him before they burried him.I'm glad I didn't.I want to remember as how he was back then.Alive and happy and living life the way any teenager would.

back at xanga now ^_^

www.xanga.com/quellegondiel

I just wanna scream and lose control

Throw my hands up and let it go
Forget about everything and runaway

I am trying so hard to get by this but I can't.I'm gonna have to face it.If not now,maybe later.I can't keep running away like this forever.I can't keep avoiding from having conversations or discussions regarding this matter.I AM PART OF IT.This is big.Especially for my folks.I don't know why I am so afraid.Maybe I'm just nervous.The clock is ticking and a lot of things need to be done.Maybe I just can't cope with the pressure.All I did was make a really huge decision and now,I have more little decisions to make.And it is all accumulating into one huge lump and it is causing me a whole lot of headache!

at a kopitiam somewhere in Bangi.......

Take a WILD guess which kopitiam I'm at lah!Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!


I doubt if I have fully recovered from my fever.Turned up for Arabic class and Hariz was making us all laugh out loud.My lecturer didn't.He actually asked if Hariz found the Arabic language funny and he said yes.I'm still doing alright in that class.I think Dr. Wejdan kicked Raqib out.I pity the dude (Raqib).He's gonna graduate and he's having all these problems still.


I am counting the scratches on my hands and legs (maybe even my neck!).Thanks to Kecik,I was screaming out loud when Shu sprayed the anticeptic onto the cut on my finger coz the pain went all the way down to the nerves.Shit!That was painful!

I know this sounds strange.......

......but we just had to do it.Our kitten is not even 4 months old and his world had always been within the house compound.He knows nothing beyond the walls.He's seen my other cats climb over to the world outside.The one he only gets to see through the little hole through the gate or those window-like grills out front.

The reason Shu and I won't let him out is because he hasn't quite figured out his sense of directions and knowing Kecik,he has this tendency to just jump out to nowhere which is dangerous coz cars tend to drive by really fast in front of my house.We're just worried if he jumps out and a car comes out of nowhere unable to break in time.

So what we did was,we hooked him up to the harnest we got him some weeks ago and took him out for a walk just to get him used to the road outside.I know he was a little irritated by the strap around his body and all but we can't afford to lose him.He has this habit of running into holes or under parked cars.It scares the shit outta me whenever he does that.

Of course,the other thing that scared me today was leaving Kecik at home with my niece and nephew.They are not even 6 years of age and eventhough they love cats,from the looks of how they were "playing" with Kecik,I had this horrifying picture of them getting a little too rough for Kecik.

Fine.Call me paranoid.I can't help it!

Oh yeah,met Fadzrul over at the gas station.I was at the counter with Shu and I was laughing out loud at something at the counter when suddenly,I heard a familiar voice saying "Tengok tuh......bukan nyer dia perasan pun kita......" Damn!And it was his birthday too!I know!It totally slipped my mind!The reminder alarm went off this morning but I think I must have shut it off coz I was sleepy.He said he too would be getting married by end of this year.Hopefully,our dates won't clash.....not with Ili's wedding either!

I was built with GPP

You can tell can't you?......

I thought I was gonna end up spending another day under the sheets this morning.I had a slight temperature and my head hurt.Nope.That didn't happen.

Shu finished to get his work done.He's been working on it all night and he needed to get it to his supervisor's room by 5pm today.I went ahead to UNITEN with him since I needed to return a book and extend the period of some books I borrowed from the library there.Also,Shu managed to get some books on Islamic Banking from his economics lecturer for me ^_^ I think she used to work at IIU.

Anywho,had dimsum for dinner and we managed to get home just before 7:30pm.

The cool thing about long drives is that the both of us manage to drive ourselves crazy by singing silly tunes or coming out with crazy ideas........like gate crashing our own wedding!SUH-WEET!

scratches

If you look closely,I have scratches in my arms.Some on my legs.Maybe some on my neck or even my face.Having a kitten who is completely oblivious to the strength he has when it comes to playing,I'd just have to put up with all these scratches.It worries Shu sometimes coz he'd always come running with some antibacterial cream or spray everytime I get scratched.This morning,I was scratched so much more by Kecik's hind-legs coz it was his first time taking a bath and he was shocked by the shower and the fact that he's all soaked.Yup,these scratches are definitely painful.So much more than the ones I used to get.

had dinner with mum and Qarim and Azim and Shu today.....

We had a really weird and not-very-pleasant topic of discussion while eating.My mum and how much she hates my step-grandpa.I understand why she hates the dude.I'm not very fond of how he treats my grandma too.Well,the thing about my mum is that she got kicked out from the house while she was in university all those years ago........erm........alongside other things.......I just hate it that my grandpa doesn't give my grandma cash (eventhough she's working) when he actually has millions invested in banks outside the country.

Like Raqib said,the men in my family tree just never seem to be on the right side<---I wonder what the left side is like........

*sigh*

Ok,back to here and now.I have been avoiding my mum whenever she asks me to go look at wedding dresses and stuff.Seriously,my mind thinks as far as 2 weeks ahead.There's no saying what will happen tomorrow.What more a few months?I'm just saying that I am not about to scout around for something that isn't really 'here' yet.

As far as I am concerned,I am in love with him.Always had been all this while.He proposed and I said yes.As far as both of us are concerned,we are engaged.That's what we tell everyone anyways.No,we are not married.Not yet.If everything goes well then we shall marry by end of this year (or something).What ever that happens in between which is beyond my control cannot be helped.

Anywho,Kamal called me to tell me the plans for this weekend's meeting and jamming session.He wants to try get us started on the demo recording already.I'm gonna have to work harder at recovering ASAP.Also,he told me about some dude from a tv show who is interested to check out our band page over at myspace.Erm.........well,good luck with that.The page is pretty empty as far as I know.Unless Kamal or Ayie or Rashid posted some stuff up already which I never knew of.

Hahahaha!I am ever so nervous about our upcoming performance!But like they say,the show must go on!This one is for the late Izwan Ikmal Arif!You are forever remembered :/

u-huh?

War is the reciprocal and violent application of force between hostile political entities aimed at bringing about a desired political end-state via armed conflict. -Wikipedia-

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/war
–noun
1.
a conflict carried on by force of arms, as between nations or between parties within a nation; warfare, as by land, sea, or air.

2.
a state or period of armed hostility or active military operations: The two nations were at war with each other.<---I think only one nation is at war and the other is just the victim
3.
a contest carried on by force of arms, as in a series of battles or campaigns: the War of 1812.

4.
active hostility or contention; conflict; contest: a war of words.

5.
aggressive business conflict, as through severe price cutting in the same industry or any other means of undermining competitors: a fare war among airlines; a trade war between nations.

6.
a struggle: a war for men's minds; a war against poverty.

7.
armed fighting, as a science, profession, activity, or art; methods or principles of waging armed conflict: War is the soldier's business.<---It becomes the soldier's business only in defense mode.

8. Cards. a. a game for two or more persons, played with a 52-card pack evenly divided between the players, in which each player turns up one card at a time with the higher card taking the lower, and in which, when both turned up cards match, each player lays one card face down and turns up another, the player with the higher card of the second turn taking all the cards laid down. b. an occasion in this game when both turned up cards match.

9. Archaic. a battle.–verb (used without object)

10. to make or carry on war; fight: to war with a neighboring nation.

11.
to carry on active hostility or contention: Throughout her life she warred with sin and corruption.

12.
to be in conflict or in a state of strong opposition: The temptation warred with his conscience. –adjective

13.
of, belonging to, used in, or due to war: war preparations; war hysteria.

memories

I was cleaning up the stuff in my room,clearing the floor a little.Been having books and papers lying around all over for the longest time.Took out that big old box file where I'd usually stuff whatever papers I can't put elsewhere.Then,I came across a folder full of cards people gave me over the years.Birthday cards mostly.Most of them were dated the year 2002 onwards.I never thought I'd find what I found after all these years.Haha!I found cards from Shu!

The first card he sent me was a birthday card.I was only 16 at the time.My brother,Eno,was in KYSM and he used to mail me cards and stuff.He sent me a birthday card and he made my other brothers sign the card as well.Somehow,there was one signature whose name I never knew of.The message was "Happy 'Bird'day" and the name written under the signature was Shuhairi.It was weird coz apart from Eno,I don't recall anyone else I knew from that particular school.

Anywho,among the other cards I found was a Hari Raya card where he signed as ShuHellree.Must be the Metallica influence......or something........hahahaha!Oh!On my 18th birthday,he sent me a card with a picture of us standing in front of the school hall (KYSM) If I remember it correctly,I performed there that night.I think I sang an acoustic cover of Michelle Branch's All You Wanted.Hahahahaha!!!!!

Oh yeah......there was also a good luck card for SPM and a get well soon card.He pasted medicines in white packets in the card so that I'll get better!He also sent me a Harry Potter bookmark and a couple of handmade cards,one with a picture of Michelle Branch pasted on it.And lastly,there was an anniversary card.It's so chomel!

And about 4 years later...........I got a few more cards from him!Yey!

Kecik!Dah Maghrib!Bangun sembahyang!

Hahahahaha!That kitten's been sleeping since afternoon!Earlier in the day,he'd be running around the house with Fei Mao and the other cats.About 2 nights ago,he found Shu sleeping on the floor in the lounge and he comfortably made his way on top of Shu's tummy and slept till morning.

I am sick.I've been having this sore throat for over 3 weeks now but I haven't got time to get myself to a doctor coz it would cost me time and cash.Couldn't get up for the morning class today.Shu and my mum insisted that I go to the clinic immediately after breakfast.I did and I was told my tonsil is swollen.

*damn it!that so means no more ice blended mochas for me for at least the next few weeks*

Anywho,I've been sleeping and almost throwing up every now and again.Shu left at about 5pm-ish coz he has an exam tonight.

Meanwhile,Rashid is lost somewhere in Tanjung Malim.I have no idea wtf happened.I think his bandmate Azim forgot to mention that he's not at the main campus is Gombak but at the matriculation center over in PJ and my brother drove all the way to Gombak and got lost on his way here.

look,cry,think,take action,get sick.......etc.......

Everyone's been commenting about how tired I look these days.Truth is,I am.Classes are killing me.I admit it.Especially Arabic classes.Lina said that the intensity of the class tends to get me (as well as most other people) a little bit on the not-so-sane side.Shu said this to me the first time I went to get him after a dose of Arabic class.

Apart from that,I have Kecik to worry about.I discovered an unknown lump on the bottom side of his body and it worries me.He's not even 4 months old.

I have yet to hear (and see) my bandmates-Kamal and Ayie.The last text message I got from Kamal was about Ayie's dad having lung cancer.Therefore,the jamming sessions (as well as band meetings) for the weekend was off completely.I was at UKM at the time.

Reality check,I have tonnes to say about how I feel regarding the big event that has not yet taken place but everyone is praying that it will.Let's get real.It has NOT taken place so ANYTHING can happen from now till then.I'm not saying that I have doubts about him or this whole thing.I'm just not the type of person to think that far ahead regarding big decisions about my future.

Honestly speaking,it scares the shit outta me.And yes,it is one of the many things that's been keeping me up at night.I have been kinda distant these days.Spacing out ever too often.

I love him but I don't think that is enough to comfort me now.Then again,love was said the one thing that is strong enough to rescue us all.Who ever said that was wrong.The world is still at war.Fucking human beings!Fucking idiots!

thanks for your food!

Kecik has been taking trips with Shu and I whenever we go driving around town.We were at my sister's apartment over at Shah Alam with Kecik.My sister's housemate-Jaz-has a kitten of about 6 months old and she's been very lonely.Kecik was one helluva company.He actually hissed at Bird (Jaz's kitten) and Bird was following Kecik around and he kept growling at her with one paw up.Weird!He also ate some of her food.Luckily,she didn't mind.

Speaking of felines,there's this black male cat that's been hanging around the house.I don't mean outside.He'd actually lie on the front porch as though he lives here!WTF?!My dad calls him Drac (short for Dracula) My cats don't like him.Kecik just wants to run around chasing the dude.

Perpustakaan Tun Seri Lanang,UKM

Spent the evening at the library in UKM.Was trying to find books and stuff.Unfortunately,I am NOT a student there.Therefore,book loans are a big NO NO.Tried to make copies of pages,chapters and articles.Got loads of it but not enough.I'll be heading over to the library over at IIUM tomorrow after class......AGAIN.If I fail to get what ever it is I'm looking for there,I shall and will get my ass back to UNITEN and UKM.

Libraries and FidZy has never quite balance in an equation so this whole journey about me visiting libraries would be something new.

On the sidelines,I have my personal studies on symbols and meanings.I am on to something and this one has a strong hook on me.I've also been preaching about my research in hopes to find more answers.It's crazy.I can't even sleep at night coz I can't stop thinking about all the theories in my head.

I also am aware of the lives of innocent people being killed halfway across the world from where I live and I am not very happy with it.I'm hoping that with enough proof,I can make people see that we can live without some of the things we tend to spend cash on and that we still have what it takes to change the world...........we just need some will power.A LOT of will power.

moderately speaking

Everyone has feelings and everyone has every right to speak up and express themselves how ever and whenever they want.You are no exception.Especially to me.Always know that I will listen even when I can't be much help or even if I can't say anything at all.

snip snip!

Got up early this morning<---isn't that what I always do?Hahahahahaha!

Anywho,got up this morning and the first thing Shu and I did before going for breakfast or what ever was getting our hair cut.Well,he just got his trimmed.I cut my hair short coz I am done with the length and the whole Gabriel Garcia look.Hahahaha!!!!!

This may sound a wee bit shocking and probably no one has heard or know about this but Shu and I actually sat down for breakfast and made our guest list.Yes,THE list.And we're probably gonna have the reception by end of this year.The officiall occassion will probably happen earlier in the year......at home.........

I am nervous......and excited........afraid.....waiting makes me anxious..........

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I accidentally stepped onto Kecik today.Didn't see him on the floor.He has this tendency to just appear out of nowhere.I'd freak out everytime someone opens the house gate or reverse the car out or even leave the tiny gate out front.Kecik is small and pretty quiet especially when he's playing around so we can't see him and we can't predict what he's up to next.

happy new new year

Was online with a friend from school.She just got married.I asked her what's it like to be married.She said it's weird eventhough she's been living-in with her boyfriend for a while.I just didn't like the part when she started telling me all the negative things about being married.She makes simple things sound complicated and hard to resolve.

I know it's weird now that people are actually talking about Shu and I getting married and all.At some point in the minds of those whose known me for a while,I may still be a child.Reality check.I'll be 24 next year.I've passed the age limit as an adult for about 3 years already.I know I may sound a little kid-ish when ever I talk about animes and drawings and music.The thing is,growing up is an ongoing process.Just because I am childlike and love things which may seem kiddish doesn't mean I am not matured in other ways.

Shu and I have talked about a lot of things and we have roughly sketched out our life plans.My sister was telling me about obsessions and how it may cause a tragic ending to the fairy tale I've built.I am aware of such things.I am also aware of drawing the line between reality and the adventure of life I have laid out in my head.I think my sister forgot the part whereby eventhough there are and will be many obstacles and that at some point dreams will end and I'd have to wake up,I can still put in a whole lot of effort in balancing reality and my little fairytale and have best of both worlds if I want to.

kat tails

The story of Kecik and Fei Mao never ends.
Fei Mao can't really accept Kecik.
Kecik still loves chasing Fei Mao (along with the other 2 cats) around the house.
Shu and I are still Kecik's official parents and we are trying so very hard to make him grow a little more coz he is too damn skinny.
Kecik is officially spoiled just like Fei Mao and the other cats in the house.

All the mimsy were the borogroves

And the momeraths outgrabe

I've had a rather tiring week.Waking up early in the morning just to get to class only to find out the lecturer didn't turn up.Getting even more lost looking for classrooms which are hidden in a completely different realm.It's like looking for platform 13 1/2!WTF?!Of course,the drive to campus with fucking idiots behind wheels with absolutely no freakin' idea wtf the rearview mirror is for!

*sigh*

I've also had a rather long 24-hour.With endless emotions running through my head and my heart all at once.Tears and tears and pain deep inside.Never again will I want to go through that again!We are good.I love what we have and sometimes I just need a little reminder and motivation in finding faith again.

Shu got me a Mr. P lamp!KOOLNESS!Yeah,it does look a little disturbing.......erm,mum said it's obscene.Hahaha!It's Mr. P!WTF did you expect?!Shu also got me a white Swatch!It's superpretty!I think I'll only wear it to class coz it looks and feels fragile.Also,I wouldn't wanna wreck it!

My sister is already in Ireland.There was quite an episode yesterday.Naim is funny!

Kecik had been stealing the limelight for weeks now.Every other person whose been over to my place would not fail to play with him.And he is ever so manja!

Shu and Kecik surprised me with a little picnic breakfast after my class this morning.It was so chomel coz our plan was to take Kecik to SPCA for a vaccine shot.Since I had a 50-minute class in the morning,Shu and thought we should just go ahead and take Kecik with us to campus and then we'd head over to SPCA.

What happened instead was when I was in class,Shu headed over to some shops nearby to get food and drinks.When I got out from class,he waited for me and pretended that he missed the exit.And then,he drove the 3 of us to the campus rugby field.Weird,I often hear about that place from Shu but I've never actually been there.

So there we were,Shu,Kecik and I having a little picnic breakfast

fading

I have often thought that free-ing your mind would lead to a better life and would at least cut down the problems in your life.I was wrong.It brings out even more stupid arguements to which there are no solutions.Well,it's stupid!How the hell is it supposed to make sense to begin with?And the moment I ignore it only coz it is a waste of time to me,it makes people angry.WTF?!If it's a stupid arguement then it's just like having no arguements at all so why bother expecting a reaction from me?

Honestly,the only reason I have not been talking lately is because I tend to trigger anger instead of opening the eyes and minds of people around me.What I do and the decisions I make as well as what I think are all just insanity streaks to people.What I believe in and what I don't.Whether I like something or not or even if it's just an opinion.Sometimes,I do feel as though people only want to impose their ideas and beliefs onto me but refuse to see things from my point of view.How the hell is that justified?!

you'll bring honor to us all

I have no idea how the hell this site works but I'm gonna try anyways.

I am worried and bothered about a lot of things.Most of my worries are about the audition for my band.As much as I do want to nail the audition,I don't have that much confidence looking at our jamming session tonight.Maybe we were all tired.Maybe we were so sick of the equipments at the studio that kept failing halfway through the songs we played.Maybe all we need is more practise.

*sigh*

I am missing Shu so badly.

I have other things keeping me up at night like my folks bothering me about getting engaged and stuff.In case they fail to realize,I have no say in this culture/religion I am trapped in.I could always just runaway or not show up at my wedding or something but we all know where that would take me.It's not that big of a problem actually if you think about it.I'd probably just have to cut myself off from my family.......or something........

I have a new cat!Sarah and I and Aaina and her sister went to Bangsar (Aaina's sister's friend's apartment) to get some cats (one for Sarah and one for me) Sarah took the cat with the long-ish fur.I took the one that looked like one of the cats I've lost some years ago named LB.Anywho,I have a new cat now.It's more of Shu's and mine.I'm gonna change her name but we haven't decided on anything yet.Fei Mao was talking to her a while ago.I don't think she has a problem with the newcomer.

I am just supertired!

This entry is meant for my xanga blog!

I took my shoes off.Then my watch.I emptied my pockets and stuffed everything into my shoes.Slowly,I made my way to the edge of the swimming pool.I stood there for a while glancing back at Tasha who was standing behind me,contemplating to jump.She just stood silenty,afraid to know what was going through my head at that very moment.As I looked back down at the pool,I felt an impact from behind and the next second,everything was blue and I was inhaling water.I was in the swimming pool.Someone pushed me into the pool.I made my way up to the surface of the water and saw people looking at me.I was in my cargos and t-shirt and I was all wet,inside out.Tasha was still standing at the same spot she was a few seconds before I got soaked.She had this shocked look on her face.She couldn't have pushed me.My cousin Anas (Anis) wasn't anywhere in sight.He couldn't have pushed me.As I looked around for suspects,I saw my tiny,7-year old cousin running away.It all made sense as people started asking "Arif!You tolak Kak Long masuk kolam ke?!"
It was funny.I was just looking for a reason to jump into the pool and my beloved cousin just gave me a very good reason to stay in the water.I was in shock as I pulled myself out from the pool.Everyone kept looking at me.They kept asking me if I was OK.I was.I enjoyed myself very much.I looked back at the pool and before anyone could ask me anything anymore,I dove right in again.It felt good.Water all around making me feel so weightless.